Its the simple things....

I sit here and I watch Jeremiah playing in the living room with the dog and watching his cartoons and I realize how its the simple things in life that we should always cherish and be thankful for. I think its all too easy for us to get wrapped up in the material things in life. We get all wrapped up in 'I want this' or 'I want that'. And then we get upset or jealous when we can't afford the 'right' car or the 'newer, cooler' computer that our friend just got. But, what about all the other things we have in our lives? What about all the smaller things that we often take for granted? When I start to notice myself getting particularly ungrateful, I like to sit back and reflect on all the other things I have in my day to day life that make me happy, that I should be thanking God for every day.

I've been talking a lot about "choosing happiness". Let me fully explain that this idea of choosing happiness is not something that I've always believed in. This is a rather recent change for me. And yes, it came from my husband. Yes Rob, I'm giving you props....you ARE RIGHT on this topic. See, I can be a particularly moody person when I want to be (just ask my parents....my teen years were hell for them to say the least haha). Rob has always said to me, 'Babe, you're not happy because you're choosing to be miserable!' He would preach and preach about how I can choose to be happy. I would roll my eyes and say, "Whatever Rob! You just don't understand!" But, I now know that he DID understand! He understood the idea of happiness better than I did! Here's how I now interpret Rob's "choosing happiness" statement:

Everyday we wake up, we have a choice. We can choose to be lazy. We can choose to only notice the shitty things that piss us off. We can choose to be impatient with our little ones. We can choose to not take advantage of the day.

-OR-

We can get up with purpose. We can wake up and we can say, 'okay...today I'm going to take everything one thing at a time. I'm not going to fight with (enter name of choice here). I'm not going to be pissy all day. I'm going to be positive and try to look at the bright side of things.' And guess what? It really works! Now, I'm not going to sit here and lie to you nice people and tell you that if you choose to be happy then every day of your life will be wonderful. Because, thats just not true. Life is a learning experience. If life didn't present us with shitty days and horrible, often unfair circumstances.....then, how would we ever learn to be appreciative? I'm not sure where this quote comes from, but I've always loved it: "To understand true happiness and joy, we must first experience deep sorrow and pain." Think about that. If you never knew what it felt like to be hurt, then how would you ever understand the opposite?

To be honest, I'm a reformed Debbie Downer. I've had my fair share of dark days in the past where I felt like there was just no reason to get up in the morning. I felt like there was no point in living in general. I would often mope and complain and whine about anything and everything. Today, I have no idea who that person is. It certainly isn't me anymore. Maybe my happiness came from experiencing true love and finding my match in my husband. Maybe my understanding of happiness came from when I gave birth to my son and looked into his tiny eyes for the first time and realized what true, unconditional love really was. Whatever it was, at some point I came to a realization that I have many, MANY blessings in my life that I should be thankful for every.single.day.

I get so tired of dealing with negative people all day, every day. Hey, I have my bad days too.....we all do! But make the choice to be happy. Make the choice to have a wonderful day. Make the choice to be productive. Most importantly, make the choice to smile! I had a boss who told me that a study was done, and people who had jobs that required them to smile at the customers tended to be happier in general! What can we learn from this? Tell yourself that you're going to smile more. Even if a smile doesn't fit the particular situation....just smile! I bet you'll notice a lightened mood overall for the day. Its true!

So, whats my point in all of this? Stop reading this. Sit back, look around you and really take in all that you have. Are you wearing clothes? Be thankful for that, for many do not have that luxury. Do you have heat in your home? Be thankful for that, for many do not have a home at all. Do you have food to eat? Be thankful for that, for there are others in the world who are starving at this very moment. Consider this:

" It isn't what you have in your pocket that makes you thankful, but what you have in your heart...." -

What you can expect.....

This morning, I got the chance to sleep in until 9am which is a very rare occurrence in my home. This was a well needed night of rest considering the fact that my sleep has not been so great lately. I keep tossing and turning and waking up every hour during the night. Its just been very restless sleep and I have been waking up feeling tired. But this morning was much different. Maybe I was just so exhausted from the lack of adequate sleep all week, that my body just made itself pass out all night. I don't know what it was, but it was some wonderful sleep-age! (no, thats not a real word). So, because I woke up so late and my normal "schedule" is a bit thrown off, I decided to make today my "Day Of Rest" and focus on nutrition and resting. (I also have a chapter or so to read and outline by 7pm tonight, so taking the day off will be a definite help with that as well). I'm still vlogging today, but now that I have some extra time on my hands, I wanted to write a blog update.

The topic of today's blog is what you can expect should you decide to enter into the battle of losing weight. I think its very important that everyone understand what they're getting into and what might happen to them when they're deciding, "Should I try to lose the weight?" The answer to that question (hopefully) is YES! I feel that I should be totally honest when discussing this topic and in doing so, you might learn a few things that you never knew about my journey thus far. I'm not shy to point out my short comings. Hey, I'm human (as are you) so lets be honest here and not paint a pretty picture because lets face it, weight loss is an ugly monster at times and we have to fight the good fight everyday.

What you can expect.....

Well, there's the obvious:

You can expect there will be pain.

There will be blisters.

There will be soreness of both muscles and soul.

There will be headaches, body aches, you name it.

Occasionally, there may even be some blood shed (nothing huge here, maybe a scrape or something).

Then, there are some things that you may not have thought of:

There will be tears along the way.

There will be days of depression and days of pure happiness. Always remember that our universe is made up of checks and balances. Remember that we would never know true happiness unless at first we have experienced sorrow.

Your struggle will be constant. Don't go into the journey thinking that its going to be "easy". For those of us (including myself) who are within our own journeys, "easy" is a word that we know no longer exists when discussing losing weight and becoming healthy.

You should expect to feel a twinge of jealousy here and there. This is one of those things that I'm being completely honest about. When I started my journey, I began it with my best friend. I saw her success and how slim she was getting, and there I was...still stuck at well over 200lbs. I began to get jealous of her success and feel like I was a failure. But then I did something that many people don't. I owned my jealousy. I told her about it, and she (as any best friend would) assured me that I was doing a great job and that I had much more work to do than she did. After all, I was coming from 260 and she was coming from 190. There's a big gap there. But the point is, you WILL feel a twinge of jealousy when you notice others' success with weight loss, or even just seeing those annoying people who can eat whatever they want and never work out and they still look healthy and fit. OWN YOUR EMOTIONS! Realize that your prize lies within these emotions, your prize lies within figuring out WHY you're feeling what you're feeling and OVERCOMING your self imposed limitations.

You can expect to fall down......A LOT! Both figuratively and physically (I can't tell you how many times I've fallen off that damn BosuBall at the gym...I hate that damn thing).

There will be times when your willpower will fail you. No one is perfect, therefore no one's eating can be perfect and no one's exercise can ever be perfect. Remember that 'Perfection' is not what we are striving for. What we strive for is a healthier, happier you! Perfection lies within the eye of the beholder. You can be happy with yourself at ANY weight, its all about the mental struggle and loving yourself first and foremost. Remember that you cannot expect to fully love another until you first love yourself. I truly believe that with all my heart.

Here's the good part:

What you will gain....

You will gain confidence.

You will gain self respect.

You will surprise yourself at your abilities and what you can accomplish.

You may even come to better understand yourself and what really matters to you in life.

You will gain friendships too! Reach out and find a community or a support system that is also dedicated to losing weight or becoming fit and healthy. You will find that these people become more like your family than your own family (in some aspects).

You will gain an improved self image. You will at some point realize that you are beautiful just the way you are.

You will DEFINITELY realize that those women in magazines and in the movies are NOT real.

You will learn that happiness doesn't lie within a number on the scale or within the size pants you wear. True happiness is a choice. Every day we make the decision to be happy or to be miserable. Please choose happiness. Wake up everyday and tell yourself, 'Today I'm going to smile. Today I'm going to be positive. Today I'm going to do my best." And its okay if that day doesn't end up being the best day. But at least you tried.

So, is this journey simple? ABSOLUTELY NOT! Is it a lot of work? YOU BETCHA! Are you going to get tired? YEP! At some point, are you going to want to give up? YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT! Is all that work, time and effort worth it? A THOUSAND TIMES, YES! YES! YES!

Consider this:

" Instead of giving yourself reasons why you can't, give yourself reasons why you can!"

Happy Sunday!

Goodmorning to everyone still reading this blog! (haha) I have definitely neglected my "semi-daily blogging" and that just stinks. See, the problem is this: I have started a daily Vlog on my Youtube channel. So I feel like, that daily vlog takes away from my ability to produce an interesting and remotely entertaining daily vlog. In essence, if you're seeing it in the videos...then why should you have to read about it too? But, I'm going to make a conscious effort to update here more often. It may be daily at times and it may be once a week, but either way...I hope my followers will still read and enjoy!

So, Jeremiah got his hair cut yesterday! I was so surprised at how well he did! He just sat still in the little Choo-Choo Train chair and let the guy cut, cut, cut away! I was so proud. I saw a little kid next to him (who was older, mind you) and that child was kicking and screaming and crying. His mother was begging him, "Just keep still and Mommy will get you some candy..." Ugh, thats not my style of parenting, I don't bargain with my child. Granted, he's rather young and doesn't understand...but still, this Momma will not bargain for good behavior.

Okay, on to weight and health related topics. This daily vlog I started. I started it in order to kind of "make-up" for all the times I've missed my 'mid-week update' in the past on the channel. But once I got into it, like two or three days, I realized how helpful they really are. Like I said in one of the videos, its very easy to put on a smile and say how happy and wonderful everything is only once a week....but its quite another thing to be honest and have a camera catch your true, raw, emotions day in and day out. It keeps me honest, it keeps me focused, it keeps me motivated. And whats really cool, is that people seem to really like them! YAY! I figured a day in the life of me might bore someone to death, but I guess not!

Seeing as it is a Sunday and Rob is not here to help with watching Jeremiah, I will not be heading to the gym this morning. I bought some Jillian Michaels DVD's this past week and I'm thinking of attempting one of the workouts at some point today. That will be my workout. Its necessary to take a break from all the crazy cardio anyway. My trainer was telling me that some of the muscle discomfort I have been having in my hips and legs could simply be from overuse. So, no running for me today. Just some ab work will be sufficient enough.

I find the most difficult thing for me on my 'day off' from the gym is keeping my diet in check. I try to eat the same as I do during the week, but for some reason it doesn't always work out too well. I'm going to really try today. I'm headed to an "adult party" this afternoon which is sure to have lots of wonderful (bad for you) foods and snacks. I'm making a promise to myself right now that I will not have any. I will wait until I get home to have my healthy salad and healthy snacks. The worst I will have at that party is maybe a diet soda. Is that terrible? I find that at least once a week I crave a diet soda drink of some kind. I think this is a huge improvement for me. Growing up, it was pretty common for me to drink over 8 glasses of soda a day, and I'm not talking diet soda here. Now I refuse to keep any kind of carbonated drinks in my home. Its all natural fruit juices (watered down) for my son, water water water for me (with the occasional crystal light packet) and my husband drinks that sugary iced tea (I'm not a big fan...tastes like I'm drinking straight sugar! YUCK!)

When I sit back and think of it, my lifestyle has changed so much in only 6 years. I'm not even talking about being a mother and being married and all of that. I'm simply referring to the food choices and exercise choices I make everyday. I can't imagine life without running almost everyday, this is coming from a person who used to get annoyed when she had to take the trash out, this is coming from a person who would get winded walking up a flight of stairs, this is coming from someone who used to be a half-a-pack-a-day smoker. I mean, when I really think of how my life is today, and how it used to be 6 years ago....its really not a shocker that I was so overweight and unhappy. I think thats the greatest thing that has changed though: my attitude. I now see life as a beautiful and enjoyable experience. I used to not see it that way. I think being positive and being grateful for all the wonderful things in your life, helps you to be a more positive person in general.

I hope everyone has had a wonderful Spring Break! I know I have. Just a lot of relaxing and enjoying no school! YEAH! Now back to the books...for sure.

Early Tuesday Morning...

Good morning Tuesday, and Good Morning 8am...I haven't seen you in a few days! I got up earlier than I normally have been because I'm trying to hit this 9:15am class at the gym, its called "Body Pump' and its supposed to really kick your a**. I'm hoping it will do just that. And just in case that class isn't enough...I have another class right after it at 10:15am called, 'Cardio Funk'. I've taken the Cardio Funk class before and I really liked it. I like the instructor, she's this funky, peppy, ball of energy who screams at you to keep going. At 9am, thats just the kind of enthusiasm I need.

So, I broke my cardinal rule this morning. I don't know what possessed me but....I stepped on the scale. I'm not even going to venture to tell you what number popped up. Lets just say, from the lack of activity over this past weekend and the Baby Shower food on Sunday...yeah, I've gained a bit since my last weigh in. I hate it when that happens. And this is EXACTLY why I don't use the scale except once a week. When I start to weigh in everyday, I start to get obsessed with the number...and thats not what its about. I should be obsessed with just eating right and staying active...not some silly number on the scale. That number doesn't define me. I have to keep telling myself that over and over again.

This is exactly why the 'mental process' of losing weight is so important. I don't think that people realize that even someone like myself, who has had 80+lbs of success in weight loss, still struggles with my mental state and the way I think about things. Sure, I might be closer to my goal than others who are just starting out, but that doesn't mean that its any easier....not at all. In fact, I think the closer you get to goal the harder it gets all around. Of course the last 20 or so pounds are way harder to get off than the initial weight is, and of course you're going to struggle even more with temptation because you can see your progress in the mirror. You stand there and you think, 'oh! well, look at how great I look! I can afford that Chinese take-out. I can have a couple of pieces of pizza. That cake? Oh yeah, I can have a slice.' When the real fact is, no you can't and no you shouldn't be having ANY of those things....at least not one right after the other.

I know its been said before, but I just wish that all the food that was bad for you and makes you gain weight, tasted horrible. Wouldn't that make it so much more easier to deny it? Alas, this is the never ending battle of weight loss. Saying no to the foods we love, and saying yes to health and fitness. I just have to keep reminding myself that it will all be worth it in the end. Just keep going. Don't give in to those bad foods. Stay the course. Eat the lettuce (haha) and be happy. Well, I'm trying.

Our "Perfect" Saturday....

To the left, thats MY idea of a perfect Saturday morning. Coffee in front of me, and my love to at my side. Technology at our fingertips, and enjoying our ability to surf the web and waste some time. I mean, what are Saturday mornings for, if they're not for wasting time? (haha) Yes, this DOES have to do with weight loss, so keep reading. Its important to recognize a great day right after a "bad" night. Let me explain:

Okay, yesterday was GREAT! I had an AMAZING workout at the gym, I mean I pushed my limits and it felt great. I went to Spin Class after my group training and I pushed myself so hard. Walking into that Spin Room I was saying to myself, "don't give up...whatever she says to do, just do it....don't touch the resistance unless she says to..push yourself, you can do this..." AND I DID IT!!!! My legs were screaming for relief and I was so tired it wasn't even funny, but I kept going and going and going...and once that ride was over, I felt like a real winner. I could have been Lance Armstrong himself walking out of that room! (haha) So I picked up Jeremiah from the daycare and headed home. I had my normal healthy lunch and drank a ton of water to rehydrate....and then....the snack monster hit me!

Before I knew it, I was grabbing a piece of bread here and a bit of hummus there. Some leftover Hamburger Helper (made with turkey of course) and some slices of cheese. I sat down and thought, 'What the heck am I doing?' Its very curious how I could start off the day in a wonderful mood, with determination and complete focus and then all of a sudden, just lose sight of what I'm supposed to be doing! I mean, HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?!?!?! Personally, I think its because of the whole 'Idle hands are the devil's playground' thing. See, yesterday was the first day I've had in a long time where I didn't HAVE to sit there and read chapter after chapter and take notes and answer questions for school. This coming week is my Spring Break from school, therefore I have a lot of time to catch up on work. So yesterday I decided to just be a bum and watch TV and take it easy. In fact, I made it a point to have some couch time and just relax. Too often, I don't even have time to breathe let alone 'take a break'. But with all this free time, I found myself thinking much more about food and eating than I usually do. Let me just say, I can't wait for the weather to get better because this summer when I have free time, I'll be packing up Jeremiah and heading to the park where we can walk and play and do something.

Let me get to what happened late last night. After my 'mini-binge' that I had in the afternoon, I decided to just have a nice bowl of fruit and some yogurt for my actual dinner. Rob came home and decided it would be a great night to relax and have a few beers. (I'm not much of a beer drinker, so don't worry..I didn't have any). Then at about 10pm he has a great idea, "HEY! I'm getting Chinese. Want anything babe?" And again, before I knew what I was doing, I was sitting down to some cream cheese wontons and 2 eggrolls....at like 11pm!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL WAS I DOING?!?!?!?!

I'm laughing about it now. Why am I laughing and not freaking out? Because, today is a new day! Its a GREAT day! Every day that I wake up, is another day to get it right. Its another chance to be better, to do better, to love better, to just re-do what you did yesterday. Today is like Yesterday 3.0! (lol okay, that was a little lame). Do you get the idea? Its all about stopping the downward spiral. I had a little set back last night, am I proud of it? No. But today, I'm up I'm drinking coffee and I'm heading to the gym in a few.

I guess my point is this: We all make mistakes, especially when it comes to weight loss. If you let those mistakes bring you down and you become defeated, then you're just giving up. So instead of letting your mistakes pile up and pile up, STOP THEM! Stop making the excuses, stop beating yourself up. Just get up and do something that would encourage or help you get towards your ultimate goal of health & fitness. What a novel idea, huh?

And there's Jeremiah, enjoying his Saturday morning pancakes. "Thanks Mom!"

Sweets.....

Yes, I said it....SWEETS! Let me tell you what I classify as "Sweets". Brownies, cupcakes, candybars, tastycakes, donuts, chocolates of any kind, candies of any and ALL kinds, basically anything that you would grab when your sweet-tooth attacks. So, here's why "Sweets" is the topic for my blog: I'm giving them up for Lent.

Now, not to get into religion here (because thats not what this blog is about) but I do follow Christian practices and beliefs and therefore, I do give up something for Lent. Each year I try to do something different. I sit back I think about something that I use as a crutch in my life, something that I feel I cannot live without. One of these years, I'll attempt to give up coffee....but this year is NOT the year for that..sorry. So yesterday I sat back and thought about my daily routine and the things I always do. And then it hit me, every night that I go to class...I become a victim of: THE DREADED VENDING MACHINE! When we get our break from class, I rush to the bathroom (all this water I drink makes me have to pee sooooo bad!) and right after that, I head to the refreshment room down the hall and stand in front of the vending machine, trying to decide between the lesser of all the evils contained behind that attractive glass case. Inevitably, I end up getting a candy bar of some sorts. I say to myself, 'okay I'll only eat half of it and throw the rest out...' yeah...that doesn't happen. And THIS is how I came to my decision, NO MORE SWEETS FOR LENT!

Last night I had a class, coincidentally yesterday was also the first day of Lent. On my break from class I did my usual bathroom run, and out of habit I headed to that vending machine. I stood there for a few seconds deciding what to get, settled on a Twix Bar, got my dollar bill up to the 'insert money' slot, then realized, "OH CRAP! NO SWEETS!" It was a difficult rest of the night in class without that sugar fix. On the way home, however, I felt pretty proud of myself! I didn't have to think about the calories I ate in that candy, like I normally do on the way home...instead, I got to feel good that I didn't give in to the temptation and made the healthy decision. I'm not going to say that the decision was easy...because obviously it was not...but I did feel a lot better having made that decision NOT to eat the sweets.

This is what I'm dealing with for the next 6 weeks or so (whenever Lent ends....I don't have a calendar in front of me...) I think this first week will be pretty difficult, but I'm hoping that it will soon get easier and that by the end of this 6 week period, not eating sweets will become second nature....I hope. We'll see!

Check out my Youtube channel for a "Weigh In" video later today! *Hint* ITS A GREAT WEIGH IN!!!! YAY!

Whiney McWhinerson!

What was my problem today at the gym? I was a whiney, crabby mess! I HATE THAT! Let me explain: okay, I'm apart of this small group physical training class at my gym. We meet every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. For 30 minutes we do whatever we want for cardio to get our heart rates up, then for the next 30 minutes our trainer (I like to call her 'smalls') literally abuses the hell out of us with different strength training, plyometrics and calisthetic exercises...it can be brutal. Well, normally I love it. I mean, it sucks while we're doing the work out, but I shut up and put up and do what Smalls tells me to do! But today...oh man....today was a different story. I actually said the phrase, "BUT I CAN'T!..." about 3 times, which was swiftly rewarded by Smalls making me do 25 jumping jacks each time. Ugh, it was horrible. I don't know whats going on lately...but something is off.

My mental state and positiveness are spot on. I couldn't be more determined, focused and motivated...but, I just feel crabby and grumpy in general. I can't put my finger on it! I laugh about it now because it seems so ridiculous to me! Everything is my life is going wonderful. Great family, great grades, losing weight, feeling good....so where is this PoopTastic attitude coming from???? Its beyhond me.

Well, the only thing I can think of is that my sleeping pattern has been slightly altered. I try to go to bed every night by 10:30 ot 11pm...never later than midnight for sure. But for some reason, I wake up at 4 or 5 am and I'm wide awake....can't sleep anymore! ITS CRAZY! So then I lay there trying to force myself back to sleep, only to hear my husband's alarm clock go off at about 5:45am. Then somehow, I end up falling back asleep while he's getting dressed for work, and I don't get back up until about 8am. I used to go to bed and start my day at 6:30am...but for some reason, its just not happening. So, I'm thinking its a lack of adequate sleep thats getting to me. I'm working on it....but we'll see how it goes.

Other than that....there's nothing new to report. Tomorrow is another official "Weigh In Day" for me on my Youtube Channel! I'm pretty excited...I'm not sure if I lost or not, but I definitely FEEL lighter...so we'll see what the scale says in the morning! STAY TUNED!!!

Coffee with a side of Thoughts....

Yes, I know its a little late to be posting my "Morning Pondering" but I was pretty busy today. After getting up and going to the gym, I headed to my local Home Depot and rented one of those heavy duty carpet cleaners with the industrial strength cleaning solution. Yes, having a young child with clumsy hands and a dog who has accidents from time to time, my carpet can get pretty stained. We have a scrub brush and regular cleaner, but we don't have our own steam vac, and we feel its easier to rent the professional cleaner because it does a better job and lasts a lot longer. Needless to say, I am POOPED! I have been going going going all day! And its not over with yet! I still have laundry to do, a son to feed and give a bath and I still need to take a long hot shower to relax before attempting to sleep tonight. Oh yes, this is the busy, busy life I lead...but I love it, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

So, after that looooong digression up there, I figure I should get to the point of this post:"Being at the right place at the right time." I mean this in reference to weight loss.

How many of you out there have tried to lose weight and given up; tried again, then gave up; tried and tried and tried and gave up each time, over and over and over again? Raise your hand. My guess is that everyone reading this is raising their hand (including me!). We have to sit back and think, why does it just not work? Why is it that I tried so hard to lose weight during High School but it just never worked? Why is it that all of a sudden, I'm losing weight and becoming fit like a champ? The answer is very simple: Its because I'm at the right place in my life, at the right time. This is not always the case when we decide to lose weight. Sometimes we may be at a point in our lives when everything is changing, including ourselves. We're growing up, we're learning what we do and don't want in life, we're trying to experience new things, we're trying to just LIVE LIFE! So, how can weight loss fit into that equation? The simple fact of the matter (in my opinion) is that it can't.

I have met many people, complete strangers, on this journey of mine through the YouTube community and many of them have proven the opinion I just shared, to be true. Many of the people I have met have told me about their countless attempts of trying Weight Watchers time and time again in the past, but with no success and then suddenly, this last time, IT WORKED! I asked them what was different, and the answer was always the same: "I was ready. I was able to dedicate my time to it. I was at a point where weight loss could be #1, instead of sitting on the back burner."

Am I saying that we should not even attempt to lose weight in the first place? No. I'm not saying that at all! My point is this: we should not get too discouraged or feel like too much of a failure when we're attempting to lose weight and it doesn't work. Its the times that we fall down that we learn! The truth is, we can never succeed in weight loss unless we struggle at some point. Remember, "The virtue lies within the struggle, not the prize".

Think of everything in life that you've ever had to work for. Think about how great it felt when you finally accomplished what you were working so hard for. Now, would that certain 'something' have meant as much to you if it were just handed to you? No. Of course it wouldn't. And why? Because you just expected it, and it was there. For those of us who have committed ourselves to this journey, WE are the ones who will know what TRUE happiness is. WE will be the ones to experience SELF RESPECT in its most purest and bountiful form. Why? Because we know what its like to be truly unhappy. We know what its like to have to work and sweat and cry and fight for what we KNOW we want and deserve.

If there's anyone reading this, who feels like you just need to take a break from all this dieting and exercise and calorie counting....then my advice is, DO IT! Take a break. Take a HIATUS if you have to. Its YOUR journey and its YOUR life, you can do it however you want! But remember this, Don't EVER give up. If you take a break, make sure its not permanent. Being healthy is our ultimate goal, and as such, we should never give up the fight.

Yep, there you have it. Thats me up there, about two glasses in to a bottle of wine. That was on Saturday night. See, Saturday was my 3yr anniversary, and man did I feel like celebrating......safe to say I OVER celebrated. I drank that ENTIRE bottle of wine to myself....yeah, not such a great idea. But I did, and the next day (Sunday) was pretty rough to say the least. I guess you could say that I was swiftly reminded of why it is that I choose not to drink anymore. I'm not against it, I just am not a big fan of hangovers, cotton-mouth, headaches and nausea! Suffice to say, I will NOT be drinking again anytime soon.

And those are my new running shoes. They were my anniversary gift to myself. I've been having some foot pain issues and I think I finally realized what the problem was. My old shoes were too small! I heard within the WLC that when you buy shoes specifically for running, you need to buy them one size bigger than your actual shoe size because when you run, you feet swell! I HAD NO IDEA! So, after I learned that neat little tidbit of information, I realized I needed to go out and get a new pair of shoes. I ran 2.5 miles today in these new shoes and it felt like heaven! I felt like I was running on a cloud, and it was glorious! I'm so glad I got these!

And there I am earlier today after getting ready for the gym. I was so excited to get out there in my new shoes and hit the gym hard. And I did just that! I successfully burned over 1,000 calories during my workout! PRETTY AWESOME!!!!!

And then I came home to a HUGE bowl of fruit and some yogurt to re-fuel. All in all, I had a great day today! My weekend was pretty good too, other than that drinking I did on Saturday night. Yuck. Oh well. Lesson learned I guess. If I do drink again, I'll be sure to drink much less and keep it to one or two glasses at the most. Jeesh! lol

So thats my update! I know I missed a few days, but I got a little side tracks with preparing for midterms before our break, and then in the middle of all that celebrating our anniversary. But thanks for sticking with me! I'll be sure to update much more often from here on out!

Pride....

Its a word that can have many interpretations. It can be a negative thing, when someone has too much pride and conversely, it can be a sad thing when someone doesn't have enough. The funny thing is, I think pride has a lot to do with a person's weight loss journey and their quest to be healthy and happy.


I remember after I had Jeremiah I went for a visit to see my grandma (his great-grandma) in Michigan. It was a great visit, but full of a lot of picture taking; which at that point in my life, I loathed taking pictures. Basically I felt like crap and I knew that I was very overweight and I just didn't feel like taking pictures to document that time in my life. But on that trip my grandma said something to me that has stuck with me ever since. We were discussing how much life changes when you have a child and she was rendering whatever encouragement, warnings, or advice she could as a veteran in having babies and taking care of them. I remember telling her that some days I never got out of my pajamas, or often forgot to shower because of dealing with feedings and burping and diaper changes, etc. (If you're a mother...then you understand what I'm talking about). I told my grandma how most of the time I don't ever feel pretty and how I don't even care about putting on makeup or even leaving the house. My grandma, in her infinite wisdom, then said to me, "Julie...don't ever lose your pride." Wow. That made me think.


Of course its natural to lose sight of what you want when you're taking care of a tiny human life. That tiny life becomes all important and the only thing you care about anymore. But its not okay to stop caring about how you look, or how you present yourself to others.
----------> Is this not exactly what happens when it comes to weight gain and loss?
Think about it, why do we really gain weight? Sure, we're enjoying ourselves when we're overeating and being lazy...but why do we keep stuffing our faces? Because food has become our friend, our comfort, and we turn to it when we're reminded of how heavy we are. For example, we see a picture of ourselves and we notice how heavy we have gotten, so for most of us, the first thing we do is reach for the chips, ice cream, burgers, pizza, or whatever we can stuff ourselves with so that we can comfort ourselves from feeling the pain of seeing that picture. Its such a vicious cycle, and no one, I mean NO ONE can ever fully understand this cycle unless they too, have been overweight/obese and struggled with this food addiction.


But why do some of us experience this vicious cycle over and over again and do nothing to stop it? In my opinion, its because we've lost our sense of pride. We've stopped caring how big our waist is. We've stopped caring about our health and wellness because we feel that we're so ugly and fat and gross that we don't deserve to be healthy and happy. I think of myself and how I was when I was in that state of mind. I purposely avoided full length mirrors, I only attempted a quick glimpse in a mirror from my shoulders up. I just couldn't face the fact that I was so big and so unhealthy...it made me feel hopeless, worthless, and disgusting. Those were some of the darkest moments in my life. But those words woke me up:

"...don't ever lose your pride..."

It wasn't long after that visit to Michigan that I made the decision to join the gym and go see my doctor about how to begin a healthy diet and lose this weight. The great thing about this journey is not just losing the weight and looking better, but its feeling better and becoming a happier person in general that I count as a huge benefit of the journey. I think about how much happier and active I am and I realize how lucky my son is that I made the decision to lose the weight. He can now grow up with a mommy who is healthy and happy; who can run and play and keep up with him; a mommy who will be around a lot longer. I think about what I've done for my husband as well. I've given him a happier and healthier wife which speaks volumes. After all, I'm his partner in life for the rest of his life. How horrible would it be if I constantly had self esteem issues or depression that hindered out ability to enjoy life as a couple? So, my decision to get healthy and lose weight didn't only benefit myself and my reflection in the mirror, but it also benefited a multitude of others around me.

If you're struggling with the decision to actually get off the couch and 'do the damn thing' (as I like to say) then think about all of this. Think about the ripple effect your good decisions will have on those around you. Consider this thought:

" Honor yourself, and others will honor you."

Trying something different....

I decided I need to start trying something different when it comes to my workouts. But, I'm not sure if I like it or not...hmmm. Here's the deal: I decided to start taking more of the free classes at the gym. I try and hit one each morning (if time allows and the baby wakes up on time). But, I feel like I'm not getting a good enough calorie burn out of it. I leave these classes, after putting in 110% effort, and I don't feel like I've really worked out hard enough. Does that seem weird? And I only have 2 hours of daycare available to me in the mornings, so when the class is over (if it was an hour long class) it doesn't leave me very much time to do anything else; like the treadmill or elliptical or something to get a good calorie burn in. Then what happens is I end up going AGAIN at night and it turns into a "two-a-day" situation. I'm sure if I like this or not. But then again, these classes are incorporating much more strength training which is what I now need to focus on.


Its a well known fact that if you stick to only cardio, cardio, cardio, you will eventually hit a weight loss plateau and won't lose any more weight. You need to incorporate strength training with your cardio in order to break that plateau....and my friends, I am most definitely arriving at that plateau. I've been playing around with the 180's for months and I just recently broke the 170's barrier.....I can only imagine how long it will take me to break out of the 170's if I don't start switching up my workouts.


In another area of news, I have also decided to make mini-monthly goals for myself when it comes to losing pounds. I'm saying that I would like to lose anywhere from 8-10 pounds a month...which is not only do-able, but its also the healthy way to lose weight. We all know that doctors say healthy weight loss that is sustainable is a loss of 1.8 to 2lbs per week. So, thats my new goal. I'm not about to quit or get pissed off if I don't meet that monthly goal, but its simply what I'm shooting for.


Its bright and sunny outside,but still a little chilly. I just wish the weather would get warmer already. I really want to start early morning runs outside in my neighborhood. I think running outside every morning to start my day will be a wonderful addition to my workouts. I feel like the weather outside is starting to affect my moods. Its been so cold and gray and gloomy out that I feel like a depressed blob that just wants to sit inside, under a blanket and sip hot tea all day. When it gets brighter, sunnier, warmer and friendlier outside I'll be an entirely different person! Isn't it weird how weather can make you feel so differently?


As a slight aside, my 3 year wedding anniversary is this Saturday! I don't think we're doing anything special...which is a good thing! I don't want to be tempted by going out to a fancy restaurant and eating really bad foods. But.....we'll see! ;)