Pride....

Its a word that can have many interpretations. It can be a negative thing, when someone has too much pride and conversely, it can be a sad thing when someone doesn't have enough. The funny thing is, I think pride has a lot to do with a person's weight loss journey and their quest to be healthy and happy.


I remember after I had Jeremiah I went for a visit to see my grandma (his great-grandma) in Michigan. It was a great visit, but full of a lot of picture taking; which at that point in my life, I loathed taking pictures. Basically I felt like crap and I knew that I was very overweight and I just didn't feel like taking pictures to document that time in my life. But on that trip my grandma said something to me that has stuck with me ever since. We were discussing how much life changes when you have a child and she was rendering whatever encouragement, warnings, or advice she could as a veteran in having babies and taking care of them. I remember telling her that some days I never got out of my pajamas, or often forgot to shower because of dealing with feedings and burping and diaper changes, etc. (If you're a mother...then you understand what I'm talking about). I told my grandma how most of the time I don't ever feel pretty and how I don't even care about putting on makeup or even leaving the house. My grandma, in her infinite wisdom, then said to me, "Julie...don't ever lose your pride." Wow. That made me think.


Of course its natural to lose sight of what you want when you're taking care of a tiny human life. That tiny life becomes all important and the only thing you care about anymore. But its not okay to stop caring about how you look, or how you present yourself to others.
----------> Is this not exactly what happens when it comes to weight gain and loss?
Think about it, why do we really gain weight? Sure, we're enjoying ourselves when we're overeating and being lazy...but why do we keep stuffing our faces? Because food has become our friend, our comfort, and we turn to it when we're reminded of how heavy we are. For example, we see a picture of ourselves and we notice how heavy we have gotten, so for most of us, the first thing we do is reach for the chips, ice cream, burgers, pizza, or whatever we can stuff ourselves with so that we can comfort ourselves from feeling the pain of seeing that picture. Its such a vicious cycle, and no one, I mean NO ONE can ever fully understand this cycle unless they too, have been overweight/obese and struggled with this food addiction.


But why do some of us experience this vicious cycle over and over again and do nothing to stop it? In my opinion, its because we've lost our sense of pride. We've stopped caring how big our waist is. We've stopped caring about our health and wellness because we feel that we're so ugly and fat and gross that we don't deserve to be healthy and happy. I think of myself and how I was when I was in that state of mind. I purposely avoided full length mirrors, I only attempted a quick glimpse in a mirror from my shoulders up. I just couldn't face the fact that I was so big and so unhealthy...it made me feel hopeless, worthless, and disgusting. Those were some of the darkest moments in my life. But those words woke me up:

"...don't ever lose your pride..."

It wasn't long after that visit to Michigan that I made the decision to join the gym and go see my doctor about how to begin a healthy diet and lose this weight. The great thing about this journey is not just losing the weight and looking better, but its feeling better and becoming a happier person in general that I count as a huge benefit of the journey. I think about how much happier and active I am and I realize how lucky my son is that I made the decision to lose the weight. He can now grow up with a mommy who is healthy and happy; who can run and play and keep up with him; a mommy who will be around a lot longer. I think about what I've done for my husband as well. I've given him a happier and healthier wife which speaks volumes. After all, I'm his partner in life for the rest of his life. How horrible would it be if I constantly had self esteem issues or depression that hindered out ability to enjoy life as a couple? So, my decision to get healthy and lose weight didn't only benefit myself and my reflection in the mirror, but it also benefited a multitude of others around me.

If you're struggling with the decision to actually get off the couch and 'do the damn thing' (as I like to say) then think about all of this. Think about the ripple effect your good decisions will have on those around you. Consider this thought:

" Honor yourself, and others will honor you."