Pushing (5/30)

So, I haven't made a video for my Youtube vlogging channel in over a week. Ugh! What is WRONG with me??? If I blog, I don't vlog.  If I'm vlogging regularly, then I'm not blogging. What the hell??? I really need to get this all together. For real.

Anyway, I came on tonight to discuss what its like to truly PUSH yourself towards something. Tonight, I pushed myself. And it felt good in the end.

After cooking dinner and eating it, I had made the decision that I was going to sit around for a bit to let my food digest, then I was going to pack up the boys and head to the gym, with or without Rob. Then...I ended up taking a little cat nap, which was actually maybe only 20minutes long.  I got up and laced up my gym shoes, then heard the distinct sound of rain coming down in buckets on my roof. Lord, if theres one thing I hate, its getting rained on. Seriously, its one of my biggest pet peeves.  So I thought, 'oh well...guess I'll just wait an hour and see if it dies down or not...' and sure enough, it did! But the longer I was sitting there, the more and more I began to talk myself out of going. It was like this mental tug of war in my head - go...no don't go...yes! go!...no...let's not - I swear, I felt like Jan Brady in the Brady Bunch remake movie when she hears that psycho voice in her head. Yes, it was really that bad.

But before I knew it, I grabbed my water bottle and my purse, got Jeremiah's shoes on (the baby was fast asleep so I left him at home with Rob) and out the door we went. It was as if I just shut my mind off and let my body just go through the motions of getting us out the door. And ya know what? When I got to the gym, the work practically did itself. I really, really, REALLY didn't feel like working out tonight....but once my feet started to run on that treadmill....I just kept going and going, like the Energizer Bunny.

So for right now, I don't care that I haven't dropped 30lbs yet.  I'm just happy that I'm finally turning a new leaf with my activity levels. I'm MAKING myself go to the gym, even when I don't want to. I'm PUSHING instead of giving in. If I just keep pushing, then I'll be at my goal before I know it. -And in that sense, weight loss is almost like an analogy for giving birth....hmmm....weird. -

Goodnight!