Not so glamorous....

Its days like these that are particularly not so glamorous in the life of a pregnant woman. I haven't showered in more days than I care to admit, I'm growing little fuzzies where there normally aren't any, my breath is kickin, my head is pounding, my energy is at an all time low and to top it all off, I felt like I was going to vomit for much of the day today. In short, I spent the ENTIRE DAY laying on the couch, only choosing to get up to make Jeremiah his breakfast, lunch and dinner, with snacks in between. Lucky for me, my sweet little boy passed out on the couch close to 7pm and has stayed asleep (its now 9:45pm and I've moved him to his room for the night). Lets hope he sleeps at least until 7am, but I won't hold my breath.

Yes, as I said, this is not such a glamorous day for pregnancy. Then again, when exactly IS there a "glamorous day" for pregnancy? Which leads me to my topic for tonight. The opinion that I'm about to share with those of you that read this, could get me into a lot of trouble with the "Pregnant Community". But if you know me at all - and some of you do - then you would know that I tend to tell it like it is. I rarely sugar coat things and I pride myself on being appropriately blunt. With all that being said, here I go:

Okay, I would seriously like to question these women who make the following ridiculous claims:

"Being pregnant is the BEST time in a woman's life!"

OR

"Pregnancy is so beautiful."

OR

"I loved EVERYTHING about being pregnant!"

Wow. I mean, really? What are these chicks smokin' and WHO are they trying to sell it to? This is a realization I came to when I was pregnant with my first child (Jeremiah). Up until this pregnancy I thought that maybe my first pregnancy was so un-enjoyable because I was so heavy and unhealthy throughout. But, thats definitely not the case with this pregnancy and I still feel as equally shitty as I did the first one.

So lets break down these false claims, shall we? The first one, "Being pregnant is the BEST time in a woman's life!" Hmmmm, well okay ladies I'll hand it to on this one, but only partially. I do agree that it is a pretty cool time in a woman's life, but ONLY because you are actually creating life and thats a pretty empowering and important thing in itself. I have to say that in some ways, I do feel sorry for men because they will never get to know what this feels like. To literally feel the creation of a tiny human being within your womb....its very powerful and something I am glad I have now got to experience 2 times in my young life. BUT, lets move on to what is NOT the best part of pregnancy. I mean, getting pregnant is basically like being handed a huge list of things you can't do anymore. Ladies, do you like to smoke cigarettes? Well, too bad. Now you have to give that up (although you probably should anyhow). And going out for drinks? Nope, not on your list of things to do anymore, unless you're one of the lucky women you actually like dry, red, wine, then go ahead....but only ONE GLASS per day, not your normal bottle when you're out with the girls. Really, the list goes on and on.

Second claim: "Pregnancy is so beautiful". Again, I will admit that the creation of life is a beautiful thing, but pregnancy in and of itself, is nothing to be seen as beautiful. Is it beautiful when your stomach starts to resemble a Texas Road Map of stretch marks? No. Is it beautiful when you're yacking up your food morning, noon and night? Nope. And is it really considered beautiful when you take a dump in front of people you don't even know? Nope, it surely is not. And for those of you wondering what I'm talking about, do some research and you will find that with child birth, its fairly common for a woman to have a bowel movement while delivering because of pushing so hard. I mean, NO. NOT BEAUTIFUL AT ALL!!!!

Lastly, and quite possibly my favorite one of all: "I loved EVERYTHING about being pregnant!" Let me just answer this by saying, YOU'RE A F*CKING LIAR!!!!

Do you love having uncontrollable gas?

Do you love getting heartburn that radiates to your knees, at a moment's notice?

Do you love throwing up and feeling nauseous for days on end?

Do you love having your feet, face and fingers swell up like balloons?

Do you like NOT being able to tie your own shoes?

Do you like the feeling of being out of breath because the baby is taking up your lung capacity?

Do you like the feeling of sore breasts? So sore to the point of rendering you to tears?

If you answered No to the above, don't worry....you're normal. IF you answered yes, then congrats to you. Yes, you WILL love everything about being pregnant. And trust me, there's even more than what I listed above, I haven't even scratched the surface.

So, thats my entry for today. I guess its fitting because I feeling like absolute crap and I guess I'm entitled to a little bit of a Pregnant Rant.

Thanks for reading.