Being "sick" confuses me....

I know, the title may seem a little odd, but its really the truth. Sometimes I get confused when I'm "sick". I put the word sick in quotations because for me, being TRULY sick and just being "sick" are two very different things. What I mean is, when I'm TRULY sick, I characterize that as throwing up, fever, aches all over, I mean, being in bed. To me, THAT is being sick. But when I say that right now I'm "sick" I simply mean that I've got an annoying headcold that just won't quit. I've been batteling it since Sunday and its still going strong. I'm taking medicine and I've scaled down my workouts accordingly (so I don't over work my body and get even more sick). This headcold, and ones I've had in the past, are really hard to read. When I wake up in the morning, its the worst. I'm coughing and hacking, my nose is completely clogged, and my head feels like a brick. But I take some medicine, I drink something hot, and my nose starts to loosen up a bit, my throat starts to feel better and my head clears up. Then I go to the gym. Since I've been dealing with this cold, I've scaled down to just an hour or less of light exercise in the morning, usually either cardio or strength training. I'm not kidding you, THE SECOND that I start working out, everything feels 100% better. And I come home feeling like I'm not sick at all! Then, inevitably, at about 7pm it hits me again. I start to feel groggy, stuffy, and clogged up again. WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?!?!

ITS ANNOYING, THATS WHAT IT IS!!!!!

You wanna know what else annoys me? I mentioned to the girl at the front desk of gym (whom I'm sort of friendly with) that I was starting to feel a bit of a cold coming on. The next day she was working in the daycare area. As soon as I walked in the door she said, "YOU SHOULD NOT BE PUSHING YOURSELF!" Okay, I appreciate the concern, however, how do you know if I'm truly pushing myself or not? I politely went on to explain to her that I actually have been feeling BETTER after I work out, to which she replied, "Yeah, you feel better but you're wearing yourself out when you need to rest." Okay, this is where I became a bit annoyed. Obviously, I'm not going to be going to the gym if I'm showing a fever or feeling weak and light headed or whatever. THAT would be completely stupid to continue working out when you're feeling that way. But this? This is just a head cold! Its about the same as allergies! You can still function when it hits. I can still walk, run, lift weights, etc. And whats more, I WANT TO! I'll be the first to tell you that when I feel weak or tired and I'm also showing signs of an illness, I DO NOT go to the gym or go workout outside. Because I KNOW thats not what your body needs. However, if I'm just feeling a bit sniffly, with a bit of an itchy throat, I find thats no reason to stop working out altogether.

So, I know this is going on a bit of rant here. All I'm trying to say is, shit like that annoys me. I'm not an idiot. And I know what I can and cannot do. Its my body! I know what its capable of. A mere bystander does not. Its kind of the same way I feel when someone says, "Oh, you're going to get to skinny! You're crazy! You need to stop with the weight loss!" That annoys me as well for the same reasons. I'm super healthy and I'm very active. I eat, and I eat well. Short of me starving myself or puking up my food, I feel that no one has the right to tell me when 'enough is enough' in terms of my personal health and fitness goals. Same goes for the afforementioned scenario. If you see me about to pass out and still going for a run, THEN you can tell me I need to cool it and maybe go home and rest. Short of that? Keep your opinions to yourself.

And yes, I do recognize that when you have even just a headcold, you need to allow your body to rest. So thats why I've planned 2 days of complete rest instead of my usual 1 day a week. This is also why I've scaled back my workouts considerably. But, I still like to get that workout once a day, at least for 30 minutes. I see nothing wrong with that.

So there you have it. I had some free time today and this was just something that was bugging me a bit. Figured I would share and see if anyone agrees or has any thoughts regarding this. On another note, I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving. Be responsible with your eating if you can. And if you can't? I suggest that you kick it into high gear and do something extra as a means of damage control on Friday. Me? I'm planning on an early morning run before the day's festivities (A.K.A. eating till you can't breathe). However, I've promised myself that I will NOT eat too much. I REFUSE to walk away from that table feeling too full and feeling sick. Small portions of everything, only one helping, no seconds, and I'm done! I like to follow a little motto from Bethenny Frankel. She says, "Taste everything, eat nothing". I'll be repeating that in my head when I sit down to eat tomorrow.

Enjoy your Turkey Day and be thankful for everything you have, because we are all blessed. Sometimes, we just don't stop to think about it.

New Goals...for now...

I realize, yet again, that its been quite a while since I graced my own blog with an update. Well, here I am! I feel the need to apologize to those who are kind enough to follow along and read the posts whenever I do post them. Then again, I know these happy few people don't mind and know how busy I've been lately with school. But with my busy schedule has come a new game plan....for the time being. Allow me to explain:

Its odd for me to talk about this subject, because I don't want to sound as if I'm boasting my accomplishments. On the other hand I'm also concious of "counting my eggs before they've hatched" or whatever that old saying is. I don't want to say that I'm already at my final goal, because thats not true! But, I am so very close to my final goal, that getting there no longer seems like such a long, arduous task. What I mean is, here I sit, hovering between 168lbs-170lbs. For all intents and purposes, I've lost a solid 90+ lbs, give or take a few. And although I am not finished, I'm kind of at a standstill, and here is where my problem lies. My standstill of weight loss is the dreaded "plateau" that many of us hear about, but maybe have not truly experienced it yet. I thought I experienced plateau's in the past, but no, I didn't. The previous "plateaus" were breakable within a month or so. Here I sit, for the past two and a half months and my weight has not budged. Yes, I'm eating VERY healthy foods. Yes! I'm still active, if not, even MORE active than I have been in the past. Yes, I'm concious of proper fueling of my body and I'm NOT throwing myself into starvation mode. The fact of the matter is, I'm simply at a weight plateau. This is not so say that I should simply "Give up" and accept the fact that 170lbs (or so) is simply where my body is comfortable. I refuse to give up and I refuse to accept that this is as good as it gets in terms of health and fitness. I mean, I'm going to run a marathon someday people! I AM! Thats a new future goal of mine. So, I'm definitely not someone who is just going accept my body at this weight. I'm still focused on losing, defining, and conditioning my body to become the best runner I can be. My only hiccup right now, is my current life circumstances.

I've talked in the past about wanting to add to my family with another child. Without getting all graphic on my readers, I'll have you know that I'm actively working on that goal. In talking with my doctor, he advised me that before we ('we' meaning women) get pregnant, we should be treating our bodies as if we're already pregnant, in a way. Obviously this would mean, no binge drinking or heavy drinking, no drugs (which include recreational drugs but mainly in reference to medications that you're not supposed to take while pregnant) and of course he mentioned my increased activity. He suggested that I continue to be healthy and active, however, he urged me to decrease my intensity a bit regarding my workout sessions and he asked that I limit myself to a few days a week.

So here I am, listening to my doctor.....sort of. Now, I know I might catch a bit of flack for saying this, but.....his advice is just that. It is ADVICE. It was not a direct order, but more of a suggestion. So, I'm listening to him....about halfway. (haha) I've decreased my intensity during my workouts although I still go to the gym about 5 or 6 days a week. Instead of working out for 2 hours a day, I limit my workouts to an hour or sometimes just one Spin Class for 45minutes. I think this is okay. And on days where I feel tired or sore, I do allow myself a day off from activity. I'm telling you all this to tell you that although I'm still eating healthy and being active, I'm no longer focused on "losing losing losing" at this point. And given my current life goal of adding another child to my family, I think this is okay. Whenever I do become pregnant, I will then become refocused on being as active and healthy as possible during that pregnancy and keeping my weight gain to a healthy minimum (the doctor said we would discuss this when the time came).

I guess all of the above reasoning is also why I've been absent from making my YT videos. I kind of thought to myself, who wants to watch someone who is maintaining her weight where it is, but acknowledges that she is NOT yet at her goal, which is where maintenance should truly occur? LOL Its confusing and I did not want to send the wrong message to any viewers and lead them to believe that I'm giving up or just accepting myself as is. I do accept myself, I love myself! I've been saying this for the longest time, we need to love ourselves first and foremost, before we can ever expect to have success with weight loss. Remember, the correct formula for weight loss is: "I love myself, SO, I'm going to lose weight and have a happy, healthy life." -At least, thats the correct formula as I see it- And that is where I am! I'm happy with my health and athletic abilities, heck, I'm even happy with what I see when I look in the mirror! But the goal of another child is more important to me right now than losing pounds and inches, and I think thats okay.

I would like to make a very BOLD statement in this blog though. I'm making this statement so later down the line, when and if I do feel like giving up, I can read this and be reminded of my true goals and aspirations. Here is the statement: After the birth of my next child, I will not rest until I reach my ultimate goal weight. I believe that a healthy weight for my height and particular build is anywhere between 140lbs - 150lbs. So thats my goal. I'll split the difference and say 145lbs just to be fair. So, these are my new goals.....for now:

#1 - Be healthy and active.

#2- Have a healthy pregnancy.

#3-Post pregnancy, its back to work and acheiving my ultimate goal. No excuses.

So, I'm not giving up. I'm actively choosing to remain where I am. For me, this is whats right at this point in my life.