Things you may not know....

I decided that I would make today an easy blog entry, considering the fact that I have quite a bit of homework to finish up. So, I decided to let my blog "followers" know a few things about me that they may not have known. Some of them are rather trivial, so don't be surprised (haha).

10 Things You May Not Know About Me:

1) My favorite color is purple.

It always has been. I don't know why exactly. I just find the color purple to not only be pretty, but its also a happy color, a thoughtful color, an uplifting color...I just really enjoy it.

2) My favorite Sport is basketball.

Ever since I can remember, my family has always loved basketball. I can remember my Dad teaching my brother the basics: dribbling, shooting, different techniques. I remember when my brother first told my Dad he wanted to join a little league, my Dad insisted that he learn 'the basics' and THEN join the league. He used to make my brother dribble the ball up and down and up and down our sidewalk next to our house in the suburbs. As for me, I used to be my big brother's shadow when I was little. * I think at one point, I may have even wanted to be a boy haha)* In one way or another all three children in our family were apart of playing basketball. A lot of my fondest memories come from playing the sport in school. I just love it, and would like to get back into playing it at some point.

3) My favorite book is 'The Giver' by Louis Lowry.

Once again, I used to want to do everything my big brother did. I remember he had this book in his room because it was required reading when he was in 7th grade (that means I was in 4th grade...I think? lol) So, I tried reading it at that age and obviously I didn't have the ability to understand it, so I never finished it. Years later, in high school, I found the book in our house and my brother said, "commit to reading that book, its really great when you get into it." Yes, he was right. If you haven't read it, please do so.

4) I only knew my husband for 6mo.'s before we got married.

This is one of those things that is very difficult to fully explain. When you meet the person you're supposed to be with for the rest of your life, time and societal 'norms' just don't matter anymore. Before I met my husband, I had been in many relationships that lasted for months at best. I would always be too scared to commit to anything long term. But when I met him, I mean on the FIRST DAY, I was so comfortable. Being with him wasn't scary, it was just comforting and easy. So for the first time in my life, I wasn't scared to be with someone. I mean, we were together for only 3 months when we started seriously talking about marriage and what we wanted in life. And the rest, as they say, is history. (This March will be 3yrs. of being married).

5) My husband and I met on MySpace....

This is something I used to be kind of embarrassed about, but not so much anymore. I worked at a hotel on the graveyard shift (11pm to 7am) and I had A LOT of down time. I was almost ALWAYS on MySpace (as I wasn't apart of Facebook at the time). One night, I got a message from a stranger who had seen my profile and liked my picture. He said: "Hey cutie, wanna chill sometime?" I decided to check out his profile and his pictures, and needless to say, I definitely liked what I saw (i.e. 'damn! he's hot!' haha) We struck up a conversation via messaging. We did this for about 2 weeks before I relented to actually meeting him (I was scared of internet psychos! lol) And from there on out, we've been together.

6) I'm not a very sympathetic person.....sorry.

To explain, I believe that people get what they deserve (for the most part). I will admit that at times, life throws a whole bunch of shitty circumstances on people who are really trying their best and working very hard. For those people, I AM sympathetic. HOWEVER, I am not sympathetic to those who simply give up and accept defeat. Its okay to feel like shit sometimes, its okay to feel like giving up, but its NOT OKAY to actually give up. No matter what happens, there is a way to make things better. "Where there is a will, there IS a way." I firmly believe this.

7) I should have been a life coach...

Let me explain this one: MY ENTIRE LIFE, I have ALWAYS been the one that my friends (people my own age, and even older people) come to when they need advice or help figuring something out. I think its because of this: I was taught from a young age to find the SOLUTION. My Dad used to say, "Don't bring me a problem unless you have a solution." What an amazing lesson to teach a child, isn't it? So, when my friends come to me with their problems, I immediately become "Mrs. FixIt", I go into problem solving mode. I figure out what they need to do, I relay it to them in simplified terms and PRESTO! Their loads are lightened and the problem is damn near solved. Like I said, I should have been a life coach.

8) I take my own advice...wholeheartedly.

Many, many, MANY times when I give advice to my friends or loved ones (or recently people in the YT WLC) that advice ALSO SPEAKS TO ME. I hear the things I'm saying to others and I immediately think, 'I better be walking this talk'. And I make sure that I am. Who would want to take advice from someone who isn't willing to do the things they advise others to do? It doesn't make sense. Whatever you dislike, want to change, or cannot accept within another person; try to change that within yourself.

9) Coffee is my ONE AND ONLY vice.

I gave up cigarettes, I pretty much gave up drinking alcohol (not that I ever had a "problem" with it, but its just not great when you're trying to lose weight), I had to give up milk and all foods with lactose, but I WILL NOT GIVE UP MY COFFEE! If you were to read my daily food journals, you would see only one constant: "2 cups coffee with sugar substitute & soy milk". I will change the things I put in my coffee, I will even change the amounts I drink daily, but I WILL NEVER GIVE IT UP! Its not that I "can't" (that word is not really in my vocabulary), its simply because I thoroughly enjoy my coffee every morning. I think I should have something within my daily foods and liquids that I thoroughly enjoy.

10) I've always wanted to be a writer.

Can you tell? (haha) When I first went to college, I immediately declared my major as "Journalism". I wanted to be a columnist. However, I quickly learned all the falsehoods, fallacies, and manipulation that goes along with journalism. Friends I'm here to tell you, what you read on the front page or see on a big network news channel is not really the 'whole truth'. Too often the media plays on our heart strings rather than reporting the actual news. Needless to say, I quickly realized that this was NOT the profession for me. But I will always strive to be a writer in one way or another. Whether through this blog, or my personal journals, or maybe someday writing my own book (hopefully a best seller! *wink wink*). I will always write. I will always want to write. I will always be "a writer at heart".

So there you have it! Just a tiny glimpse of 'who I am' and my history. I hope you enjoyed it!

Stopping the Downward Spiral.....

Today is one of those days........


My son, is no happy camper. Every so often kids have days where they just wake up on the wrong side of the crib, and today was his day. Oh boy. I have had a whiny, cranky little trouble-maker on my hands this morning and I just didn't feel it would be right to bring him to the Daycare at the gym (like I do every other morning) because those girls have enough kids to worry about; the last thing they need is my cranky little son, crying his head off for 2 hours. As a result of the previous decision, I was not able to complete my usual, daily routine.


Normally, I'm up as soon as my husband leaves for work (around 6:30am). I put dishes away, fold laundry, catch up on some current events, finish up some reading or homework for school, and by about 9am, my son is up and ready to go for the day. I get him up, make him breakfast, tinker around on the computer (Youtube, Facebook, Email, etc.), and then I get us both ready and we're out the door to the gym by about 10:30am.


BUT, none of that went the right way today. By a screwy chain of events, I've been up since about 5am and nothing has gone the way it normally does. Its not a bad day per say, but its definitely NOT the normal, functional, productive day it usually is.


On days like this in the past, I would ultimately become very lazy and I would think, " well my whole day is already screwed up, so why not just eat whatever the hell I want? Why not just skip the gym altogether? who cares!?!?!?" This is where my NEW AND IMPROVED way of thinking comes in....

STOP THE DOWNWARD SPIRAL!

Just because your day doesn't start out the way you wanted, or things aren't going the way you had hoped they would, does NOT mean you should allow your ENTIRE DAY to become a complete failure. You can have a horrible day and still turn it around before the day is done. Don't believe me? TRY IT! Put my idea to the test. Your day is what you make it! Make it a good day, make it a productive day (as much as possible). Don't accept life's situations and circumstances as an excuse or reason to just give up or be unhappy.

My husband has this saying that used to drive me up the wall, but now I'm starting to really understand what he's saying and what it means. His saying is very simple: "Happiness is a choice." That's it. Simple, right? Happiness IS a choice! So everyday you get up, make the CHOICE to be happy! CHOOSE to make the most out of the day. CHOOSE to not accept defeat. CHOOSE to DO!

That's what I'm doing. I couldn't go to the gym this morning. That's the situation, and how am I handling it? I had my normal healthy breakfast, and a wonderful, filling, yet healthy lunch. I plan on going to the gym this afternoon (4pm or so) and when I get home, I'll be enjoying a wonderfully healthy dinner as well. How's that for not accepting defeat? My morning was (in a way) stolen from me, but not my determination. We should all be DETERMINED enough to do what it is we want to do or need to do, each and every day.

"Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try..."

Training Ourselves...

There's a big question looming overhead for me (and others, I'm sure) about weight loss:

"What happens when we get to goal?"

For those of you who are not apart of this weight loss struggle, this question may seem rather nonsensical. For you, its simple: you met your goal, you're done! BUT, for those of us deep within the struggle its something much much MUCH more complicated than you might think. First of all, we have to address the issue of being overweight. Being overweight is a result of a food addiction. Most people do not understand this. Much like a drug addict, those of us losing weight have to break our addiction to our drug: FOOD. So, for anyone to tell us: its okay, you made it to goal, you can just stop now. Oh boy, its damn near impossible! Telling us that we can just stop, is like telling an alcoholic or a drug addict that they no longer have to attend their meetings or that they're totally cured; they're never totally cured, and the same goes for those of us involved in losing a large amount of weight.

Now, I am NOT at my goal weight yet, but I have had a lot of time to sit back and think about how my strategies will change and how I will shift gears. I've been blessed with the ability to watch others within the YT WLC who are struggling with this and try and learn from their struggles. And here's what I've come up with:

EVERYTHING WE'RE DOING, IS A MEANS OF TRAINING OURSELVES!

Think about that. Why do we track our calories? Why do we track our exercise? Why do we keep a daily food journal? The answer is rather simple: We're simply training ourselves for when we reach our weight goal. Its obvious that the reasons why we gained the weight in the first place was because we were ill educated in the areas concerning fitness and nutritional health. So now we must do the work in order to educate ourselves and train ourselves to recognize: what a balanced meal looks like, the right things to be drinking, the right exercises to do and how often to do them, what a correct portion size looks like, and how to keep ourselves (and our appetites) in check! The question remains: What do we do when we get to goal? But now, we have our answer. The idea is that, with all this training we have been doing we will automatically KNOW how to do the things we should be doing in order to sustain and maintain our goal weight. Hopefully through all the weeks of struggling to lose the weight and training ourselves as mentioned above, we will have picked up a few tricks along the way that will make maintaining and sustaining our goal weight seem almost easy!

For me, when I get to goal I know I will be changing my caloric intake. I may still track my foods and exercise for the first few months (until I get the hang of it), but ultimately I will already KNOW what I need to be doing in order to stay where I'm at. Instead of working out everyday, I'll cut it to 3 times a week, and incorporate more moderate physical activities when I can, like: going for a bike ride or going for a walk. <--You get the idea...--> In essence, when we get to goal it should become LESS STRESSFUL! If its becoming MORE STRESSFUL then we must be doing something wrong. We must be putting too much added pressure on ourselves. When we get to goal, we should be able to indulge in certain things with no guilt. The idea of OVER-indulgence will be something so foreign to us, that it won't even seem like a possibility or an option. This is where the "mental work" of weight loss comes in. If we've been doing it right, then when we get to goal, things will be much more simple and less stressful.

"There are those who travel and those who are going somewhere. They are different and yet, they are the same. The success has this over his rivals: He knows where he is going." - Mark Caine

Karma...

Yes, I'd like to take a moment to discuss a certain belief that I hold. I like to call it Karma. Although I do not follow the eastern religions that define the word, I do believe in its general meaning or purpose.

So, what IS karma???

Karma is a Sanskrit word that actually means "action". Contrary to its literal definition, Karma is actually the universal law of 'cause and effect' within our day to day lives. The simple idea behind karma is this: you get back exactly what you put in. Interesting thought, isn't it? Stated even more simply, if you put out negativity, hate and ill will towards your fellow man then pain and suffering will ultimately come right back to you. Conversely, if you put out kindness, generosity and good will towards your fellow man then only good things will come to you within the course of your life.

For those of you who may be religious, the idea of karma is also described within the Christian beliefs but it is called something different. "The Golden Rule": do unto others as you would have done unto you. I've always loved that saying, now more so than ever. My personal swing on the idea of karma is this: whatever you do in life, you will get back times three in the end. When we think of it this way, we may ask ourselves why there is so much bad in the world when there are beliefs and practices such as Karma. That's a question that I cannot answer without getting deeply philosophic and religious. (Considering how this blog mainly concerns weight loss and personal growth, I will save you from my personal, religious beliefs. It is our right as humans of the world to believe whatever it is we want to. And that's all I have to say about that.)

So, what does karma have to do with this weight loss journey? To me, it has EVERYTHING to do with the journey. Helping others and encouraging others with their weight loss, ultimately helps me to help myself and encourage myself. Funny how that works, isn't it? Helping others, helps me! I believe this is why the YT WLC has such great success. The community is full of so many people who are ready and willing to help, encourage, support, uplift and just 'be there' in general for others within the community. I can honestly say that I have not had ONE negative experience with ANY of the other WLC members. EVERYONE is wonderful and uplifting and encouraging.

I follow the daily vlogs of CTFxC which is comprised of Charles Trippy and Ally Speed. Some people dislike them, and others (like myself) enjoy seeing a happy couple doing day to day things, and enjoying life for all that it has to offer. One of the main reasons I'm such a big fan of theirs is because they hold such wonderful beliefs (that they're not too shy to share) about 'goodness' and 'kindness' to others. Just the other day Ally touched on the subject by saying, " when you do something good for someone else, its such a win-win situation. YOU feel good for doing something for someone, and the person you helped feels good having been helped." ABSOLUTELY! Ally's point, however basic the terms, is that doing good for others does good for yourself and sets an example for others to do the same. Refreshing isn't it?

So the next time you see someone struggling to get through a door (like Charles and his many packages from the PO Box), hold open the door for them. The next time you see someone drop something on the floor, bend over and pick it up for them. The next time you see an elderly person standing on the train or subway, give up your seat. The next time you see someone leave a status or comment that shows they are in pain, offer to listen and to help. The next time you see someone crying, stop and ask if there is anything you can do (often its just the simple act of listening that makes all the difference). I promise, it will come back to you in the end.

You get what you put in.

I shall not be moved....

It has recently been made abundantly clear to me that some people are becoming rather annoyed with my semi-daily updates on Facebook about how many miles I've completed that day, or my new 5k time improvements, etc. And these people have been making snide comments and status' of their own that basically say 'shut up. we don't care.'

If they don't care....then why are they reading????

At first, I get very angry with these comments and snide remarks. I start to feel my blood pressure rising, my heart rate increasing. I want to punch the computer screen. I'm sorry, excuse me for being enthusiastic. Please excuse my annoying, and apparently meaningless, habit of setting goals and REACHING THEM. I'm so sorry for being PROUD of myself for how far I've come with my weight loss and physical fitness. You're completely right...I really need to "get over" that pesky idea of positivity, determination, and motivation....how silly of me. Its even been ambiguously stated that my constant updates about my weight loss and fitness goals are a ply for "constant attention, seeking praise, receiving recognition as an ego boost".

I SHALL NOT BE MOVED!

In this life I have learned (so far) that adversity will inevitably follow any real and wonderful success you may have. For me, there are (obviously) people out there who resent the fact that I have lost weight, become fit, have a positive outlook on life, and that I want to share that positivity with others so that they too, may become inspired and/or motivated to do the same! Where does this resentment come from? I've asked myself this repeatedly. What can I do to get it across to them? Its not about recognition, its not about boosting my ego, its not about getting constant praise. Its about bettering myself, its about prolonging my life, its about ENJOYING life by being fit and healthy and happy. Its about the pure happiness and content I experience when I help a fellow Youtube weight loss vlogger. When I hear from one of my many YT friends that a comment I left or something I may have said in this blog inspired them or pulled them out of the negative slump they were in, its a high that's better than any drug out there. I HELPED SOMEONE OUT THERE! Its a feeling I wish each and every one of you can experience.

I'm sure that many of you who are also on this journey of weight loss and personal fitness have experienced this adversity (and if you haven't....you probably will at some point). There is always going to be someone who wants to 'rain on your parade'. Always. However, like many things in life, its important how you handle that adversity. Don't let them win. Don't let them think that their words hold any weight with you. Simply shrug your shoulders, move on, and forget about them. You are better than that. You are loved by many others who support you and your quest for health. Those who want to be snide, rude, or degrading will not go far in life. Life is all about your attitude and how you handle difficult situations. When you have a poor and negative attitude like theirs, its no wonder that you don't accomplish anything of real meaning or purpose.

"People like that are just road bumps. Just run them over and leave them in the rear view"

- Andrew from the YT WLC

I have this problem...

Yesterday, I spent much of my late evening catching up on many YT WL videos that I have neglected to watch due to time constraints. I was so glad to see a video made by a certain '1healthierHeather'. <---Let me start by saying that this woman is AMAZING and is truly an inspiration to me. She started off at about 293lbs. She's a busy mother of 3 (I think, right? lol) and she had a wake up moment 80 weeks ago, and she started to lose the weight. As of today she is at about 128 to 130 lbs!!!!!! When I watch her videos I see such a wonderful person: a great mother, a loving person, an inspiration, a helper, a kind heart, and I could go on and on.


So yesterday I watched her Wk. 80 Weigh-in video. I was SO GLAD she addressed a certain problem she was having because it pertains (slightly) to an issue I'm having. Her problem is this: she has reached her goal weight, but she can't stop herself from working out just as hard and as often as she's always done. When you reach your goal, you kind of have to pull back from such intense workouts as you're used to, not to mention you should increase your caloric intake to an amount that allows you to "maintain" that goal weight, not lose more. If you do NOT do this, you risk the continuance of weight loss which can actually make you UNDERWEIGHT! (I find this so funny: for so long we worry about losing, losing, losing every single day, then all of a sudden we must totally shift gears and worry about maintaining, maintaining, maintaining. Its crazy!) Heather knows this, and is working on pulling back a bit, slowing down, and eating more each day in order to maintain her goal weight and stop losing.


Although it may seem so easy to many of you, this is all much harder than it seems. Like I stated previously, for those of us who are deep within this weight loss journey: working out, sweating, pushing ourselves constantly within our workouts, has become ALL WE KNOW! In fact, its not just the only thing we know, ITS WHO WE ARE and apart of WHAT WE DO BEST!!! <--Go figure!--> So, when you try and tell someone who has been doing this for months and months (sometimes years) to STOP, its very difficult, if not seemingly impossible.

My problem is slightly similar to Heather's, however it doesn't have to do with maintaining. Here's my issue: I'm still deep within the weight loss journey and therefore, I'm still focused on losing, losing, losing (45 more lbs). Much like Heather, I push and push and push until I sweat buckets at the gym. I go and go and go as hard as I can until my muscles are literally screaming for relief (I know it seems psychotic, but I actually enjoy all of this).

I do this every.single.day.

Recently, another YT WL friend approached me and asked a question: "Aren't your muscles sore? Are you letting them relax? You need to take a day off so your muscles can heal!" I already knew this fact, but somewhere along the way I've ignored it. Why have I ignored it? Because I have this problem where I can't NOT workout. Since speaking with that friend, I made the decision that every Saturday will be my one and only day of rest out of each week (it also happens to be the day that I spend in the library finishing up homework). Do you have ANY IDEA how hard it was for me to sit around yesterday and NOT go to the gym? There's a 6 letter word that describes how I felt: G-U-I-L-T-Y!!!!


When/If I do not go to the gym, guilt immediately sets in. I start to feel heavy and gross. And what do I do to make up for that? I restrict my calories! I mean, that's the one thing I should NOT be doing on my days of rest. On my days of rest I should be eating (however sensibly) in order to help the process of restoration for my tired muscles! So, I'm working on this. Yesterday was the first day off from the gym that I have taken where I did not restrict so much. In fact, we even went out to eat! When I started to feel guilty, I quickly shut that little voice in the back of my head off and kept repeating, 'you need this, your body deserves this, you worked all week for this one day off, enjoy it!'.


I cannot tell you how happy I am that today I get to go back to the gym! My day of rest is finally OVER and I can start the cycle of pushing, sweating, and losing for the rest of this week.


I wonder if anyone else out there has this problem as well. ?????

YT Vlogger mentioned: 1healthierHeather

CHECK OUT HER CHANNEL!

http://www.youtube.com/user/1healthierHeather

Can't Never Did Nothin'......

"Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die."

Carrie Fisher (Author and Actress)

Call me stupid, but I draw a lot of inspiration and introspection from quotes or sayings. These quotes can be from very wise people, or from a magazine, its whatever jumps out at me at that the time. The particular quote above was sent to me in an email from my Dad. He has worlds of knowledge under his belt that comes from living a long and successful life. So, when the header of his email said, 'Wisdom', I decided maybe I should pay attention to its contents.

Carrie Fisher, noted actress and author, is one wise woman in my book. This could not be a more true statement. Think about it. When you resent someone or even if you're jealous of another person, think of all the horrible, negative feelings that you go through. Why not just let it go? Why not just shrug your shoulders, roll your eyes, and move on? All the while allowing that person of distaste to go on living their sad, sad existence.

Believe it or not, this is another thing I decided to work on within myself. I'm not a very jealous person and there are very few (if any) people that I can say I resent, have resented, or will ever resent in the near future. However, I have been jealous. I mean, who hasn't? And to me, the feelings experienced with jealousy are the same that are experienced with resentment.

Here's how I tend to look at things: when you allow yourself to resent someone or become jealous (for me, they coincide) you are then allowing yourself to become "the victim". People, let me tell you there is nothing that I dislike more than the person who plays the victim. Here's a little tough love for those of you who fall under this category: STOP WHINING! There are others out there who have it a lot worse than YOU and THEY are more positive! This is directly related to the weight loss journey.

Too many times I have heard people saying, "I've tried everything. I just can't lose weight. Its too hard. Its not fair. I could never have a body like hers. I guess I'm just doomed to always be overweight." BOO-HOO-HOO! <----- That's what I say to all the bullshit listed above. Have you tried everything? No you haven't, because chances are you never tried NOT GIVING UP. You want to sit there and claim that you "can't" do something? Well, here's some wisdom from my mother: 'Can't never did nothing.' When you sit there and proclaim that you 'cant' do something, you're admitting defeat, you're immediately taking 'no' as an acceptable answer. All people that have been successful with anything in life have been people who push. They push themselves to do more, to do better, to embody excellence. They push others to perform to their standards. They push and push and push and push, until they succeed. So, for those of you who use 'cant' as your excuse or reason....I do not feel bad for you.

When I started this weight loss journey, I started by making Youtube videos with my best friend Bronwyn. From the very beginning we made a promise to each other. We were going to be accountable to each other and everyone that followed our videos, and most importantly, we were NOT going to make any excuses. Every time we screw up, every time we eat unhealthy, every time we don't work out, every time we don't do what we know we should be been doing, we cop to it. That is to say, 'we fess up'. This is the only way to really be successful, both in weight loss and in life.

I know, I know. Some of you may be thinking, 'What the hell does she know? She's only 24!' And you know what? You're totally right! <---See? That's me, making no excuses or defenses. I accept the fact that I could be completely and entirely wrong about everything I just said. However, in these 24yrs of mine I have had many accomplishments in life, school, work AND with weight loss and this is the attitude I take when it comes to life and its situations.

I won't sit here and tell you that I never experience days of defeat. I felt defeated and felt like giving up just the other day! Of course I get in those moods from time to time, I'm human and its only natural. But consider this: In life, we cannot stop situations or monumental moments (whether positive or detrimental) from occurring; but its what we do AFTER these things happen, that determines who we are as people.

Who are you? Are you a victim, or are you a fighter?

I choose to fight.

My Sanctuary...

As most of you know (if you've been reading and following this blog) yesterday I was feeling pretty awful about my poor weigh in. Here's the thing about me: when I feel like a failure, I take it to the extremes. Well, I should say that used to be 'the thing' about me. However, one of my New Year's Resolutions was to change that about myself. When I screw up, I vow to stop it right there and correct the screw up and never let it happen again. I'm trying to incorporate this way of thinking within my personal life as well as this weight loss journey. So, when I had that poor weigh in yesterday and I was feeling pretty crappy, I stopped myself and said "Stop it Jules! Turn it around. Make today a productive day." And you know what I did? I went to the gym AFTER class. I decided to make NO excuses for myself. So the baby was sick. So what? I couldn't go to the gym in the morning. So what? Use your time wisely. If there's one thing I've learned in my short 24 years on this earth, its that Time Management skills are valuable in all areas of life. If you learn how to get the most accomplished/completed/done with your time, you will be successful in anything you set out to do.


Before I went to class last night I had already packed my gym bag. I knew that since it was the first class of the semester we would likely be getting out early because everyone knows the first class of the semester in almost any school is usually nothing but B.S. (Syllabus, Rules, Codes of Conduct, Attendance, Get to know the teacher, etc. etc. etc.) So we got out an hour and fifteen minutes early. As I was walking to my car in the freezing cold I was thinking to myself, "I'm tired, I'm cold, I just wanna go home and relax." But then a mental picture of those numbers 1-8-5 flashed in my head and I drove straight to the gym.


I have to be honest with you here. Growing up, I was never extremely athletic. No, that award went to my amazing older brother who was the "Family Athlete": Basketball, Track, and Cross Country to name a few. My sister and I both were involved in Basketball from the age of 9 and up, but other than that, I just wasn't really interested. When I hit sophomore year of High School I even stopped playing basketball and that's when I started gaining the majority of my weight (obviously). My point is this: when I started this weight loss journey I was NOT someone who enjoyed going to the gym and working out. In the beginning I had to look at it as a job of sorts. I had a goal, I knew I had to work to achieve that goal, and even if I hated it (like with many jobs I've had in the past) I knew I HAD to go and workout.

But eventually, I began to enjoy my workouts.

I can honestly say that today, I LOVE WORKING OUT!

This has been a tremendous transformation for me. I have begun to think of the gym and my time within it, as a Sanctuary of sorts. When I get the chance to go to the gym its totally and completely "ME TIME". I don't have to worry about my son, I don't have to worry about time constraints, I don't have to think in general. All I have to do is put one foot in front of the other. All I have to do is just keep going.

There are so many things in my life that I can do wrong. I could write a paper incorrectly for school. I could make a really horrible dinner for my husband and my son. I could forget to pay a bill. One thing after another after another, there are tons of things in our day to day lives that we can pay the consequences for doing "half-assed" or incorrectly. But consider this thought: You can do no wrong when you're working out. Even if you're just walking on the treadmill, you can't go wrong! Everything you do while working out is doing something right and good and positive for yourself and your body. And when you're done working out, those endorphins sure do feel good, don't they? Such a wonderful, natural high for a job well done.

I used to hear people talk about how much they "loved" working out and I used to think, "Who the hell are they kidding? They enjoy sweating? They enjoy getting tired? They enjoy sore muscles? What a bunch of bull." But I'm here to tell you, I have joined the ranks of those people. And here's something refreshing: You Can Too! If you just keep going and going and going. If you make working out or going to the gym apart of your daily routine (believe me, I'm a busy person and I know how difficult it can be to fit it into your schedule) then sooner or later, working out will just become apart of who you are and what you do. I'll leave you with this:

"The future depends on what we do in the present." -Gandhi

The Love of Perfect Strangers...

I am continually touched and amazed by the sincere and encouraging people within the YT WLC. Allow me to explain:


I woke up this morning, went to the bathroom, then pulled out my trusty scale. Yes folks, its that time again: Weigh In Day. I was shocked, disappointed, horrified, disgusted (insert your choice adjective here) to see that the scale read 185.0!!!!


GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Yeah, I was ready to just throw in the towel. On top of the shitty weigh in, my son is very sick with horrible chest congestion, AND I had my FIRST class of the semester last night and I already feel overwhelmed by the amount of work that I have to do. And that's only ONE of my FIVE classes this semester. I think it was a combination of all those things piling on at once, that I felt like nothing short of a LOSER this morning.

So, I logged on to Facebook (like I always do) and I posted on the YT WLC wall: "I'm feeling like a failure this morning, I gained one pound and I can't go to the gym because my son is sick and I'll have to be at the doctor's all day. Life sure can be a bitch when she wants to be." <------ That statement is very very VERY true. Its like that old saying, '...when it rains, it pores...' That's definitely for sure.

Then something amazingly wonderful happened. Perfect strangers who are also apart of the YT WLC reached out to me and sent me some encouragement via Facebook. I could feel their sincerity and care in every comment left underneath my post. I cannot tell you how much that meant to me. Its so uplifting to have other people who are on your side, cheering you on, rooting for your success, and only wanting the best for you and your health. I guess it was just a huge smack in the head of positivity to see that this morning. And you know what? I feel 100 TIMES BETTER!!!!!!


This brings me to my main point for today's entry: If you're new to this weight loss idea/journey/process then do yourself a favor and get some support. If you're not familiar with YT WLC and you're wondering what the hell those letters mean, they stand for the YouTube Weight Loss Community. Not all of us make videos, some of us just use the Facebook group as a means for accountability and contact with other people who are also focused on losing weight and becoming healthy. Or, if you want to start making your own videos (which I highly recommend) then DO IT! Start your own Youtube channel, start searching for other Youtube Weight loss vloggers and you'll soon be apart of the most loving, supportive, encouraging community you've ever been apart of. I hope my little 'testimony' above gives you the nudge you need to get out there and open up to others about what it is you're going through.


Weight loss is a serious struggle. Most of the time its much more of a mental struggle than it is a physical one. So, it is IMPERATIVE that anyone going through this struggle have someone to talk to about it.


I've said it before, and I'll say it again: "The Love of Perfect Strangers is the most humbling, amazing, reassuring thing I have ever come across in my life. " - and yes, that is a direct quote....from ME!

Tomorrow is Weigh In Day

So, tomorrow is my Weigh In Day on my Youtube Channel. I'm neither excited nor scared about it. I'm indifferent....ambivalent...??? I'm just kinda feeling nothing about it. I did some serious damage last weekend when I was babysitting for my friend overnight and ever since Sunday I have been eating 100% healthy, tracking my calories, and working out like its going out of style. Oh yeah, and I've been averaging about 100 ounces of water a day. HOLLA! That's a recipe for weight loss success right there.

I have to admit, I'm worried that I'm not doing enough strength training at the gym. For those of you who may be new to this whole idea of health, fitness, and weight loss: it is IMPERATIVE that you weight train along with your cardio. Why? Because if you only stick to cardio then you're only working a specific muscle group and you can only burn so much fat. However, when you add in weight training you're building muscle which increases your abilities as far as cardio exercises go, and you're toning that extra skin, making it tighter where possible. So, I feel like I'm not doing enough of the weight training. I try to incorporate a weigh routine into my daily workouts for at least 15 minutes. I've been thinking about changing my workouts though. I've been thinking of switching from all cardio one day, then nothing but weight training the next day. I heard from others that this is an ideal way to work out because you're allowing certain muscle groups a day to rest before you work on them again.

Did you know that when you work out and your muscles feel really sore, that soreness is actually tiny stretches and tears in your muscles?? It is! And when you do that amount of damage to your muscles daily, you never give them time to heal, which means they never have the chance to recover and become stronger. Interesting, isn't it?

In other, more personal news: Tonight marks the official first class of the Spring Semester for me. I'm taking night classes at my local community college in order to earn my degree in Paralegal Studies. I have a 2hour and 45 minute class ahead of me this evening and I'm not really looking forward to it. Why? Because its all about Real Estate Law. I'm sure this class will teach me some very useful information for my future as a homeowner, but I'm none too interested in the ins and outs of real estate (if I was, I become a real estate broker...DUH!) Nevertheless, I'm sure its vital and necessary to the task I will need to perform as a Paralegal in the very near future.

Well, that's all for the day. Its been a rather slow day for me. The gym was good, but nothing special. My day has been fine, but nothing out of the ordinary. All in all its just been a very 'blah' day. I hope the rest of you are having a WONDERFUL day. Its Wednesday and the week is almost over...so that's cool....right?

Update & "Heavy" Review...

Today is a bit of a weird day for me. Its rainy, foggy and gloomy outside. When it gets like this, I tend to become a shut-in and camp out on my sofa. I also tend to be a little 'moody' or 'crabby' or just 'UN-motivated' in general. I woke up this morning at 6am, went to the bathroom, took a look out the window and saw all the gloom and rain. I immediately said, 'I'm not going out in this. I'm going back to bed.' And I did just that. When 9am rolled around, I got up with my son and my husband, got dressed, and made my way out to the gym. Let me tell you, I did NOT want to go this morning. I've found that just getting to the gym is the hardest thing, because once I get there I'm motivated and I refuse to waste my gym time by not pushing myself to my limits. So, once I got there this morning I had a wonderful run, and killed it on the elliptical. It felt good to work up an awesome sweat and start the day off in the right way. I always feel productive when I get out of the gym.


One of my favorite things about the gym I go to is this sign they have in the parking lot. Its facing the inside of the parking lot, so you can only read the sign as you're pulling out of the gym and leaving. The sign says, "YOU DID IT! Now enjoy your day!" I freaking LOVE that sign. Every time I creep up to the exit of the parking lot, I see that sign and I sigh a long sigh of relief/accomplishment...I DID DO IT!!!!! Its truly a wonderful feeling.


In other news, I have a bit of a Television Review for those of you who are interested. See, I have this weird new obsession with watching any TV show, movie, documentary that has to do with weight loss or food issues. I also jump up and grab any newspaper or magazine that has an interesting article about weight loss or food or health. I think its because I'm right in the middle of the most difficult part of my weight loss journey, that I'm desperate to learn more and become more involved with others that I might be able to help. (Maybe I should be a trainer??? lol hahahaha NOT!) Back to the point: There's a new show on the A&E Channel called, "Heavy". This show is mainly about people who are dangerously obese, and it chronicles their lives as they go through this program which teaches them how they should be eating and helps them create a habit of exercise and healthy living. Just as an aside: I feel there are far too many shows on TV that give people the impression that losing weight is simple. They do this by showing you how big or unhealthy the person is in the beginning, they show you only small glimpses of that person working out and changing their diet, then it cuts to how great they look after they lost all the weight. They show no real struggle! And we all know that weight loss is a continued, repeated, relentless struggle. Well, this show, "Heavy" does an AMAZING job of showing just how difficult it is for the people involved, both mentally and physically. You really begin to feel a connection with these people on the screen, and you share in their emotions both when they fail and when they succeed. And my favorite part? Each episode ends with a realistic final look at the weight that these people have lost. You see their success, absolutely! But, its not like those other shows that give you a picture of the person with ALL the excess weight magically gone. No, instead they do a comparative measurement and show you the inches lost, and a comparative weigh in to show how many pounds lost. As the viewer, you can see they still have a ways to go, but because of this show's realistic nature, it makes weight loss seem like such an attainable thing for anyone else out there.


I guess I enjoy the show because it shows you the struggle that these people have to go through. And seeing them struggle but still pull through, its something that speaks to you and makes you realize that if they can do it, then so can all of us. So, I give the show two thumbs up and if any of you are interested in watching, I believe it is on every Monday at 10pm on the A&E Channel. I recommend you watch at least one episode. If you don't feel motivated after the episode is over, then I don't know what to tell ya. After I saw that episode last night, I had this powerful voice in my head telling me to get up in the morning and work out....hard.


Consider this: When it comes to weight loss, healthy eating and exercise WORKS IF YOU WORK IT!

Anvil or Hammer?

In one of my most recent videos I shared a quote that I came across.

"In life, we must either be an Anvil or a Hammer."

I used the quote because I liked it. For some reason it spoke to me. But since I made that video, I've been repeating this quote in my head trying to really mull it over. What exactly does it mean? So I decided to do a little research using good old dictionary.com. I looked up the exact definition of both an anvil and a hammer. I know, it seems really stupid to look up the definitions of these two things. I mean, I know what a hammer is, and I know what an anvil is. But I figured that their exact definitions may have something to do with the real meaning behind this quote, this quote which for some reason struck me as something significant when I read it. So, here are the definitions:

Anvil: a heavy iron block with a smooth face, frequently of steel, on which heavy metals, usually heated until soft, are hammered into their desires shapes.

Hammer: a tool consisting of a solid head, usually of metal, set crosswise on a handle, used for beating metal, driving nails, etc.

Hmmmmmmm.....lets ponder this for a moment, shall we? So, now that we know the exact definitions, we now have a bit of a better understanding of what that quote really means: The hammer is what is used to force the metal shapes into the forms the operator of the hammer desires. The anvil is merely the platform that holds the metals so the hammer can do its hammering on a solid, metal, platform. So, the question before us is... 'What are you? The anvil or the hammer?' Do you persistently hammer away at the things in your life that you want to change? Do you keep banging and banging and banging away at things, until they are what you want them to be? Then, you might be a hammer. Conversely, do you patiently stay the course while providing stability for other people and other things in life to hammer away at you? Then, you might be an anvil.

So, what am I?????

After a lot of careful consideration, I've come to the conclusion that I, my friends, am both the anvil AND the hammer. In all aspects of my life, especially pertaining to this weight loss journey, I actively take the roll of the hammer: constantly pushing myself, never taking no for an answer, repeatedly forcing myself to do the things that I may be too lazy or too self-conscious to do, encouraging others to work hard, always demanding the best from myself and others in my life. I also passively play the role of the anvil: patiently waiting for the transformation both on the outside and inside as this journey continues, providing a stable environment for my son and my husband, allowing those that may ridicule me or poke fun at me for my videos and this blog to continue doing so: letting them hammer away at my outer shell of confidence, while still holding my own and standing tall on the inside. Yes, I think its safe to say that I am both the anvil AND the hammer, and I'm proud of it.

So, ask yourself: "What am I? Anvil or Hammer"

For those of you following this blog that are also on a weight loss journey: We must always remember that the entire idea of losing weight and becoming healthy is more about changing whats going on, on the inside. The result of working on our inside is the difference in our appearance, but its not the main goal. If you're on this journey only because you want to "look hot" or " get the guy/girl" or "fit into a size 4", then I have some sad news for you: the weight loss is not going to stick. Consider this: 'The prettiest people do the ugliest things'. Just because your outward appearance may be appealing to the eye, doesn't mean that you're fixed. I have to remind myself of this as well. When I see a picture of a friend looking fierce and hot in her bikini, with her "perfect" body, I'm hit with a twinge of jealousy (okay, its more than a twinge). But I sit back, close my eyes, calm my mind, and remind myself that its all about love. Its not about looking good in a two piece, its not about fitting into a certain size. This is about me. This is about loving myself, my husband and my son enough to want to be healthy and fit for the rest of my life. Its about enriching my life, and in the process, enriching my inner being.

Think about it.

The 'Lite-Brite' Lesson....

I'm doing a solid for one of my greatest friends here in New Jersey. I'm giving her a little break by babysitting her three children, so she could go and enjoy a night and a day away from the daily chaos that is her life. I'm really enjoying myself. I never used to be a "kid" person. In fact, I used to want nothing to do with them. However, since I had my son I have come to love children and their simplistic way of thinking. I love that they say whatever it is they are thinking (whether it may be rude or not) and aren't yet tainted by the idea of being "politically correct" about everything. Sometimes I think as a society we're too worried about being "P.C." about everything and we often lose sight of the real issues that lie underneath all the bullshit.


So last night, when the little-little ones (my son 1.5yrs, my friends son 3yrs) went to bed, I stayed up with my friend's little girl (5yrs old) and we put together her new Lite-Brite. Do you remember that game? I'm sure many of you do. I'm only 24 and I have many fond memories of sitting in my Grandma's basement on a rainy day, with all the colorful pegs spread out on the floor, creating pictures on the screen with my big brother and big sister.


I forgot how fun Lite-Brite can be! My little buddy kept saying, "Julie this is so awesome. I love the pretty colors! This isn't boring at all!" (made me smile and laugh with my heart). As we were placing colorful peg after colorful peg into the holes to create these colorful, illuminated pictures, I got to thinking.


The Lite-Brite game is kind of a perfect metaphor for my weight loss journey. Imagine that the colorful pegs each represent a specific goal I have already accomplished or that they are something I am working on as it pertains to my inner character and weight loss. Next, imagine that the picture board with all the holes for the peg is my entire being (meaning my mind, my body, my heart, etc) which is waiting for me to fit in the pegs to make it complete! Get it? Now, sometimes when you put a peg in its place and you move on to another, one of them falls out. Is this not EXACTLY like what happens when we attempt to lose weight? We get one thing right, then when we move on to the next thing, the last thing we thought we had right in the first place fails and we're back at square one.


But guess what eventually happens? Eventually, you fit all the pegs in (no matter how long it takes or how tired your fingers are) and you stand back to look at the big picture you have completed. Thinking in this way, I have realized that my weight loss "picture" is not yet complete. Sometimes I like to think it is, and I try to stand back and bask in its glorious completion only to see one of the pegs fall out. But this is okay. We must remind ourselves that all good and wonderful things come with time and great effort on our part.


Is it completely odd that I got all this just from playing a simple game of Lite-Brite with a 5yr old? I guess so. Well, the kids are almost done with their afternoon naps so I'm back on duty soon. I hope this entry made sense. I know its a bit of a stretch as far as metaphors go.

One of My Earliest Memories...

I woke up this morning and immediately clicked my way over to my Youtube 'Subscriptions'. I saw someone had posted a video with only text. I watched, and I immediately felt like giving this person a hug via the Internet. I really and truly hate to see people in pain, whether mental or physical. I want to help. So I left a little encouragement and help in the comments and then I sat back and thought.


You know what immediately popped into my mind? One of my very first memories that pertains to weight and weight issues that I've had since childhood. Its so silly to me now, that something that happened in the 1st grade is something that has stuck with me well into my 20's. Here's what happened:


I remember I woke up that morning all happy and excited because Mom had picked out my purple stirrup pants (yes, stirrup pants...I said it) for me to wear that day. Purple is my favorite color, so I was bouncing with excitement and ready to go and show off my killer pants. I picked out my very best sweater (as it was winter time) and Mom did my hair as pretty as she could and I was off to school. I had been sick the past few days and had missed some school and a few assignments. So, my wonderful teacher sent me out to the hallway to finish an assignment on my own, as they were grading that very same assignment in class and she didn't want me to get the answers.


So, I obediently headed out into the hallway just outside the classroom door. I sat down and hurriedly began working on the assignment. I remember it had something to do with reading and writing, which were my two best subjects, so I plunged into it head first. I finished quickly and sat there waiting for the teacher to tell me it was okay to come back inside. As I was quietly sitting there, a single file line of kindergartners was passing by. I smiled sweetly and waved to them (as I was one of the nicer big kids). Then, out of the blue, a young boy in a green sweater with that beautiful white blond hair and striking blue eyes pointed at me, looked back at his giggling friends and said:

"SHE'S FAT!!!"

The other kids in line began to laugh along with him as they all continued on their single filed line's journey out to the playground. I have no recollection of what happened after that event. Did I cry? Did I get angry? Did I yell something back? Did I tell the teacher? Sadly, I don't think I did any of these things. Considering how this memory has stuck with me and affected me for so many years, I think I may have just sat there and realized that I was, in fact, "Fat".

So, what can we all learn from this little parable of mine? First of all we can state the obvious, kids are seriously horrible to one another! (haha) But nevertheless, that horrible-ness is all apart of the necessary pains of growing up. Secondly, we can learn that our words have weight to them. Words can cut as deep as a knife and affect someone for years to come.

Now, do I hold a grudge against that small blond haired boy? No. I know he was young and obviously hadn't been taught the rights and wrongs of things that we do and do not say. On the contrary, I'm thankful to this little boy for doing and saying what he did. Its no secret that his words followed me into my teen years when my depression was the worst. When I hated myself and my body the most, his words were a constant reminder that threw me into a deeper and deeper pit of self loathing.

But Jules, how can you be thankful for that???

Its simple really. In those years that were my deepest and toughest struggles. I pulled myself back up. I learned that I could change! I could be healthy, I could be athletic, I could be happy, I could be the real me that was dieing to come out. This change, this happiness, the real me, did not come easy. Its not like I woke up one morning out of the blue and said, 'Oh! I love myself today.' No. That did not happen. It took work. It took time. It took tears. It took tremendous amounts of patience. Consider this thought: Things that come easy in life are not nearly as greatly appreciated as those things that we must struggle for.

"The virtue lies within the struggle, not the prize."

Personal and Intellectual Growth

It should come as no surprise that weight loss has a lot to do with your mindset and mental state. If you're depressed and overweight, chances are you will continue to be overweight and weight loss will not be a successful venture. However, when you work on your inner self, weight loss will come almost naturally. Why is that?

SELF LOVE IS THE KEY!

I know, I know. It sounds really corny and cliche. But if you sit back and think about it, I mean really think about it, then it makes complete and perfect sense.

I'm taking a quote from one of my favorite Youtube Weight Loss vloggers, Shanti: "Too often, we get ourselves into this 'If, then...' way of thinking." For example, we may be thinking to ourselves, "IF I can fit into a size 8 skinny jean, THEN I will love myself." Or "IF the scale says 140, THEN I will be happy". But when we do this, its like setting our self up for failure. Why? Because we're making our love for ourselves or our happiness within ourselves a CONDITIONAL thing, when it should be UNCONDITIONAL.

Consider this thought: We should love ourselves first and foremost, inside and out, before we can ever share our love with another person.

Did you know that most people who lose a large amount of weight, will inevitably gain it back? Ask yourself why this happens. Some will say its because of laziness or unhealthy food choices. But if you think about it, its really because of one simple fact: When that person was in the process of losing all that weight, he/she was only concerned with the outward and not the inward.

So, how do we fix this? Its obvious that everyone is different and everyone has differing opinions on how to remedy this. Here's my opinion:

Spend some quality time with yourself and your thoughts. Keep a journal. Read a book. Enrich your mind and stop trying to BUY your happiness. Day in and day out I see all these people (or 'friends' as facebook calls them) who are posting all these things about how wonderfully happy they are, how perfect their lives and their love is, or the worst offense: posting picture after picture of all the materialistic things they buy. My friends, you can buy everything that the world has to offer, and you can preach to everyone in the world about your so called 'happiness', but one fact remains tried and true: If you have to advertise, then it just isn't true!

One of my New Year's Resolutions was to work on my inner character. Yes, I too need to work on who I am as a person. I'm still young and there's many things I need to learn (yes Dad, I said it). I'm interested in learning what others have learned about life and love. And I'm hoping that I can apply some of those things and some of that wisdom to my own life.

Everyday I wake up, I try to love myself a little bit more. And you know what I get in return? I get to love my husband a little bit more. I get to love my son a little bit more. In return, I get the motivation to get up, get out and go to the gym. I begin to enjoy all the small things that life has to offer: the roof over my head, heat in my house, the coffee in my hand, the keyboard at my fingertips, and the ability to help others at the very same time that I'm helping myself.

I came across a wonderful quote yesterday. I put it in my video update, but I'll share it here as well:

"Change yourself, and fortune will change with you."

And there you have it. That's what I really want to get across in this post. Work on yourself, and who you are on the inside. If you're honest with yourself, you will find that you have many flaws (just as the rest of us do!) and that you could better yourself, your family, and your life in general by addressing those flaws and trying to overcome them......if possible. And guess what? Weight loss will come, it only takes time. Time and self love.

Day One

Okay, so if you follow my Youtube channel then you would probably be pretty confused by the title of this post. You would probably be saying, "But Jules, I thought January 1st was day one???" Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay so you caught me on a technicality. However, in the words of Ricki Ricardo, "I've got some s'plainin' to dooooo...."


Ever since the new year (meaning Jan.1st) I have actively been doing healthier things that will help me get to my ultimate weight goal. HOWEVER, I was pretty much doing them half heartedly. I was probably putting in about 40% effort when I really should have been putting in 110%. So, TODAY marks the FIRST day of putting in 110% effort and jumping into this last leg of weight loss without ever looking back.

Wanna hear my plan?

School starts next week so I'm starting to put my new schedule into play right now. My classes are on Monday, Wednesday and Thursday nights. Rob works nights (for now anyways) so I'm going to take advantage of his ability to wake up with the baby and take care of the "morning babysitting duties". My new schedule is this: wake up at 6am and immediately head to the gym. Since I will not have any real time constraints, I will work out until I just can't go anymore (within reason of course. So, for like 2 hours or so). Then its time to shower and head on home. On the nights that I have class, I'm planning on going to the gym after class gets out. Therefore, Monday, Wednesday and Thursday nights will become "two-a-day" workouts. Hey, if you have a goal like mine to reach (45 lbs) you have to put in a TREMENDOUS amount of effort.

As far as dieting goes, I'm sticking to my "healthy foods" regimen. Which basically means, I eat a lot of salad and lean protein meats like tuna or grilled chicken with nothing added. I also enjoy lots of fresh fruits, and of course: WATER WATER WATER. I like to stick to a 1230 calorie a day diet considering the fact that I'm house-bound for most of the day with only 2 to 3 hours of heavy physical activity.

SO THERE YOU HAVE IT!

I have awaken this morning with a new found motivation and optimism for things to come. What are those wonderful things to come? Well: being able to buy a pair of pants that are a one digit size, finally purchasing an outfit or shirt that I think is completely cute and finding out that it fits perfectly, running a 5k in my own personal record time, getting to a level of personal fitness that I never thought would be possible for me, and finally, blowing everyone away when I wear my very first two piece swimsuit this summer.

After watching my best friend bronwyn's latest Youtube video, I came up with a reward for myself for when I reach my goal weight. I'm going to go out and buy the cutest little two piece swimsuit, and I'm going to make a Youtube video showing everyone in the YT WLC (Youtube Weight Loss Community) how far I've come. Normally, I'm not keen on showing my body on camera, but seeing as how there are so many wonderful and supportive people who have now become what I call friends, watching my videos and looking to me for encouragement and motivation, I figure, why not show them what hard work and determination can get you? Do I expect to look "Perfect"? Absolutely not. Do I expect to be PROUD of my results? YOU BETCHA!

It will happen folks. Be ready for that video. A mere 6 months and 3 weeks from now.

So, happy Wednesday to you all. This week is officially almost over. My weigh in day is tomorrow on Youtube. I'm hoping to kick some serious booty at the gym this afternoon and therefore rock that number on the scale in the morning.

Be Healthy, Be Happy, and Be Beautiful.

My story....

My name is Julie, but if you're reading this then feel free to call me Jules (everyone else does).

This is my weight loss blog.

It all started after my son was born in July of 2009. After you give birth (for those of you that don't know) there is a 6 week period of healing. After this initial 6weeks is up, you go to your doctor for a nice little visit with your legs in those damn stirrups. Well, it was at that doctor's appointment that I received my biggest wake up call yet.

Have you ever had a wake up call in life? I think we all have small ones. When you see that your bank account is in the negatives and you overdrafted for about the third time, you kind of sit back and say, 'wow! I really need to budget and get my spending under control.' and there you have it, you just had a wake up call. Well, mine was similar to this, only......bigger. Much bigger. Literally. (haha)

At the beginning of this doctor's appointment you go to the nurse and she takes your blood pressure and then asks you a whole bunch of annoying, personal questions: "Have you been having regular bowel movements?" "Have you been feeling significant depression or self loathing?" " Have you and your partner (husband) been sexually active?" blah blah blah! Oddly, these questions weren't what bothered me. What was bothering me was that nasty, old-school doctor's office scale which was eyeballing me from the corner of the room. 'Please don't make me weigh in.....please don't make me weigh in'. I kept repeating this in my head like a mantra because I just didn't want to face the facts: I had gained way too much weight with this pregnancy, I was obese and unhealthy. Sure enough, the nurse looked at me with a sweet smile and said, "Okay, lets hop on the scale!" Hop? HOP?!?!?!?! Lady, there are many things that I don't feel like doing right now, and on the top of that list is "hopping" of any kind. Nevertheless, I obediently stepped on the scale and closed my eyes as the the nurse moved the weights over to the right.

What did I weigh?

260 lbs!!!

I was embarrassed. I didn't want to look the nurse in the face. I was about to cry. How did I let myself get this big? I know I had just given birth and a little weight gain is expected....but 260lbs???? What made it worse? When I went in for the actual examination my doctor talked to me about my weight. I remember him saying that if I continued at the weight I was, I would be at a high risk for diabetes and heart issues. Not to mention the fact that running after this baby when he got to crawling and eventually walking around would be none too easy with all this extra weight on me. I love my doctor. He's no bullshit, and he doesn't sugar coat things. I remember he said, "Jules, you're young and you have a lot of life ahead of you. Treat your body well and it will reward you later on in life. Do yourself a favor and change your life. Lose the weight."

WOW!!!!!!!!!!

Talk about a wake up call? I mean, DAMN! lol So, with the go ahead from that doctor I went home and talked to Rob (my husband). I told him what my doctor had said and I told him (more like begging in a way) that I wanted to spend a little extra money each month on a gym membership. I promised him that if he paid for this gym membership on top of all the other bills, I would definitely use it. I promised him I would lose the weight and I would NOT waste his hard earned money on a gym membership by not using it.

And so, my weight loss journey began.

But wait! There's more!

One day, I was talking with my best friend Bronwyn on the phone. She had seen this awesome young girl (only a few short years older than us) who was doing weight loss videos on youtube. Youtube? I thought to myself, 'who would have thought that youtube would have a weight loss community?' Well, Bronwyn and I discussed it and seeing as how the two of us have always struggled with our weight, we decided to form a weight loss partnership (her in Florida and I in New Jersey) and through our youtube videos we would hold eachother accountable and encourage eachother on this mother of all journeys. And thats just what we did.

As I sit here typing this first blog today, its been 1.5 years since that doctor's appointment and I am officially 75lbs less!!! Thats right, I'm down to about 185. How did I do it? Hard work, determination, motivation, self love, and a whole lot of help from all the wonderful and beautiful people I have met within the Youtube Weight Loss Community. Its simply amazing, perfect strangers holding eachothers' hands, encouraging one another and spreading love via the internet. Its something so inspiring and special to be apart of.

So here I am, with only 45 pounds to go. My goal weight, or I should say my 'healthy' weight for my height is 140lbs. I'm almost there! This past New Years I made a very bold statement to all of my Youtube friends and subscribers, I said, " By my son's 2nd birthday, July 25th, I WILL BE 140lbs." There is no "I hope to be" or "I want to be" there's only, "I WILL BE". So, I have 7 months. 7 more months to get there. 7 more months to push myself harder than I've ever pushed myself before.

Can I do it?

Yes.

Wanna follow along with me?

Then follow this blog.